Crazy, emotional, lost hamster haze.

I've always thought that I was a fair person. In the past, I always did my best to be fair and not let my emotions get the best of me. Perhaps I haven't done a perfect job and if I looked back would be disappointed in myself. Recently, I haven't had to look back at all since I can see how I am acting almost immediately after I act. I have noticed that ever since I started up a relationship, I have not been fair and I have often let my emotions get the best of me. I can't explain it and I can't justify it, all I can say is that being in love with someone and working through things can make me feel crazy. I have never felt more guilty, giddy, happy, angry, frustrated, content, and satisfied all at once. And even in the times when I feel truly crazy, I am still so thankful. Maybe it's because I AM crazy? I have no idea.
Completely unrelated, I got a hamster! It's a dwarf hamster named Rio and I am shockingly so happy to have a pet. Shockingly because I am not really a pet kind of person--completely contrary to how 12 year old me thought I would be at this age. Unfortunately, Rio escaped about 3 days ago and I'm pretty sure he found his way outside and is lost forever/dead. I was VERY sad but also happy that hamster's only cost 600yen (about $6). This also may explain why I'm not a good pet person. Sometimes I side with logic a little too much. What else is cheap like hamsters? Natural cures.
Coconut oil is basically the best thing to ever come from coconut's. You can use it as a canker sore cure! This stuff is good for EVERYTHING! It's great for cooking, moisturizer, tanning lotion, mouthwash, canker sore relief and that list goes on and on. I put some oil in my mouth and for real, the pain almost immediately went down. It's not numb or anything, the pain is just much less. Very cool.
In other news, I am antsy and want another goal to work towards since the fsot is over. I get the results in a week but can't count on it so...I need to do something else. I SHOULD study and take the gre but I have zero motivation to do so. I guess I just need to push until it feels right. Good advice for some instances, terrible for others. Keep that in mind.