I just finished reading a facebook post from a person I have never met. Their husband is fighting a fierce battle with cancer and she is by his side. That battle is something I have no experience with but have seen people fight in a dilapidated hospital in the middle of nowhere. She is understandably desperate for God to heal her husband and give them time together on this Earth to proclaim His gospel or do whatever else they think they will do on this Earth.
I admire her for her faith. I admire them both. I cannot imagine what sort of pain that is or how difficult it is to keep trusting God. I don't know. I will pray for his healing and I sincerely believe God can bring that healing. BUT. There is always that but isn't there? I think there are many that would believe me even inserting a but means I have no faith. That is not the case.
The thing is, I don't know what God's will is. Cancer is ugly and vicious, I know this. Sickness often is. I do not believe sickness comes from God but I also know for a fact that not everyone gets well. People die. Everyday people die. I have seen innocent babies die for preventable reasons. God could have healed them and He didn't. I don't know why and at this point in my life the why doesn't matter. God is still good, He still has a plan, He is still sovereign.
The horrible truth is: her husband may not get better. He may die. What makes it horrible is I feel guilty for thinking of that when I read her facebook posts and all the comments standing with her in faith. God has the entire situation in His hands and I will trust that I don't know what's good and what's bad because I DON'T. I have a human mind with human limitations...I cannot fathom what God has in store. I just can't. Realizing that is quite scary because I could be in the exact same situation as this woman or her husband and in that time I would need to believe that God is still good, He still has a plan, and He is still sovereign.
Ohhhhh, how things have changed! I no longer feel entitled or as if I "deserve" anything. I have seen so many justifiably deserving people get forgotten and left behind for no logical reason at all. People murdering and raping based on decades old grudges. The world is not a fair place and facing that is heartbreaking. I just hope to never lose sight of who God really is. He is always good, He always has a plan, He is always sovereign.
I admire her for her faith. I admire them both. I cannot imagine what sort of pain that is or how difficult it is to keep trusting God. I don't know. I will pray for his healing and I sincerely believe God can bring that healing. BUT. There is always that but isn't there? I think there are many that would believe me even inserting a but means I have no faith. That is not the case.
The thing is, I don't know what God's will is. Cancer is ugly and vicious, I know this. Sickness often is. I do not believe sickness comes from God but I also know for a fact that not everyone gets well. People die. Everyday people die. I have seen innocent babies die for preventable reasons. God could have healed them and He didn't. I don't know why and at this point in my life the why doesn't matter. God is still good, He still has a plan, He is still sovereign.
The horrible truth is: her husband may not get better. He may die. What makes it horrible is I feel guilty for thinking of that when I read her facebook posts and all the comments standing with her in faith. God has the entire situation in His hands and I will trust that I don't know what's good and what's bad because I DON'T. I have a human mind with human limitations...I cannot fathom what God has in store. I just can't. Realizing that is quite scary because I could be in the exact same situation as this woman or her husband and in that time I would need to believe that God is still good, He still has a plan, and He is still sovereign.
Ohhhhh, how things have changed! I no longer feel entitled or as if I "deserve" anything. I have seen so many justifiably deserving people get forgotten and left behind for no logical reason at all. People murdering and raping based on decades old grudges. The world is not a fair place and facing that is heartbreaking. I just hope to never lose sight of who God really is. He is always good, He always has a plan, He is always sovereign.
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