I am better and completely believe in the healing powers of kimchi. Maybe what I mean is that I now know how great cabbage and spice are…even though Russia should have already taught me about cabbage.
Sometimes I wonder why good or bad things happen to certain people. How much of what happens to us is what we choose and how much is the ‘luck of the draw’? Is there just fate or is there just free will? I don’t think there is just one, but what’s the balance, how does that work? It’s insane to me how much of life we can’t really explain. Things happen because they happen. Sometimes it’s because we choose but sometimes it has nothing to do with what we choose. I had a friend who experienced a really rough night last night and she reminded me of this train of thought when she said, “Ashley, I know it sounds dumb but it’s when nights like last night happen that I think, what did I do for that to happen to me? I’m not a bad person, I never mean for anyone to feel hurt by my actions, so what did I do?” And the bittersweet answer to that is maybe she did nothing. Maybe it just happened that way and had nothing to do with her. It’s bitter because that’s just life and it’s sweet because she couldn’t have prevented it anyways and there’s nothing to regret. But I’ve been where she was. I have thought, ‘what did I do to deserve this situation?’. Who hasn’t? I wonder if there will ever be a point in my life when I think I have everything I want.
The other interesting half to this topic is maybe situations are not bad themselves but really our perception is what creates the negative reaction. Maybe. Living overseas has made me realize how different perceptions can really be. I always knew there were different sides to a story but I don’t know that I realized how different those sides could really be. How you are brought up to see something is how you will see it. If I hand a customer change with my left hand in America no one even thinks twice, but here they wouldn’t hand you something with their left hand only. And they are brought up to view someone giving you something with their bare left hand as negative. It’s interesting to realize point of view is SO diverse.
Life can be a little sweet but life can be a little shitty. --RHCP
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Being sick just gives me a reason to be selfish
Wasn’t I just sick? I’m thinking my last sickness somehow didn’t count because I am sick again. This time legitimately sick in the way that you feel gross when you wake up and have an interesting time falling asleep, get a little worse everyday, and then hopefully get a bit better after you hit sickness bottom. I have an effing cold (or bird flu if you want to make it sound exotic). Boo. I taught a lot of my classes the word sick today so I guess I can attribute my cold to expanding the children of Korea’s vocabulary. And there’s the silver lining.
I’ve noticed over the years that when I am sick I tend to get a bit dramatic and all “poor me”. I think that’s the selfish me coming out. That also may shine through in this little update I’m about to give.
I’ve been in Korea for about 2 ½ months now…approaching the 3 month mark. Historically, this is about the time I start missing things from home. Right now I miss scalding hot water coming from my showerhead, people speaking English all around me, the number four button being an option in the elevator (they don‘t put the number 4 they just put the letter F since the number 4 looks like the word for death), studying (yes, I am that nerdy), calling anyone I want in America whenever I want and not having to say, ’I’m sorry, I’m on my computer, can you hear me better…now??’, the insanity of the holidays, the airport in December, reading the ingredients on the back of food and body products, and driving. Also snow, but there are places in America that I would also be missing that last one, so it only half counts. I realize that list has some weird things on it but you never really know what sort of things make you feel like home until you don’t have them anymore. Biggest pet peeve in Korea? That I can’t read ingredient labels. Seriously. I need to get a move on with learning Korean food words.
I went to the DMZ and if I was in a better mood, I would tell you all the awesome things I learned. Really though, I did find out a lot about North Korea that I didn’t know. It is insane how sheltered and closed off that country is. I was reminded of how ignorant I like to be of world happenings today when I read an article about how China likes to censor what information gets into their country. What’s the deal there? They don’t want their citizens to know what’s going on? I’m not sure I quite understand how a country advancing as quickly as China can afford to censor their people from information most of the world has access to. Doesn’t that sort of put their people at an informational disadvantage? I think it does, but who am I? Clearly not anyone at all close to influencing the Chinese government. Also, looking at it objectively, America also censors information…maybe just not as blatantly as China.
I’m currently looking at which grad schools I want to apply to. I’m not applying until next year, but I want to start preparing now or I’ll never do it.
Over the past few weeks I have realized that I talk about eggs too much, get very passionate about whatever book I happen to be reading, and am a pushover when it comes to cheating during made up card games like pumpernickel. Life is wonderful when you are learning.
And here are some lyrics to a song that makes me smirk when I realize my current situation:
I'm a new soul I came to this strange world hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take but since I came here felt the joy and the fear finding myself making every possible mistake (New Soul--Yael Naim)
I’ve noticed over the years that when I am sick I tend to get a bit dramatic and all “poor me”. I think that’s the selfish me coming out. That also may shine through in this little update I’m about to give.
I’ve been in Korea for about 2 ½ months now…approaching the 3 month mark. Historically, this is about the time I start missing things from home. Right now I miss scalding hot water coming from my showerhead, people speaking English all around me, the number four button being an option in the elevator (they don‘t put the number 4 they just put the letter F since the number 4 looks like the word for death), studying (yes, I am that nerdy), calling anyone I want in America whenever I want and not having to say, ’I’m sorry, I’m on my computer, can you hear me better…now??’, the insanity of the holidays, the airport in December, reading the ingredients on the back of food and body products, and driving. Also snow, but there are places in America that I would also be missing that last one, so it only half counts. I realize that list has some weird things on it but you never really know what sort of things make you feel like home until you don’t have them anymore. Biggest pet peeve in Korea? That I can’t read ingredient labels. Seriously. I need to get a move on with learning Korean food words.
I went to the DMZ and if I was in a better mood, I would tell you all the awesome things I learned. Really though, I did find out a lot about North Korea that I didn’t know. It is insane how sheltered and closed off that country is. I was reminded of how ignorant I like to be of world happenings today when I read an article about how China likes to censor what information gets into their country. What’s the deal there? They don’t want their citizens to know what’s going on? I’m not sure I quite understand how a country advancing as quickly as China can afford to censor their people from information most of the world has access to. Doesn’t that sort of put their people at an informational disadvantage? I think it does, but who am I? Clearly not anyone at all close to influencing the Chinese government. Also, looking at it objectively, America also censors information…maybe just not as blatantly as China.
I’m currently looking at which grad schools I want to apply to. I’m not applying until next year, but I want to start preparing now or I’ll never do it.
Over the past few weeks I have realized that I talk about eggs too much, get very passionate about whatever book I happen to be reading, and am a pushover when it comes to cheating during made up card games like pumpernickel. Life is wonderful when you are learning.
And here are some lyrics to a song that makes me smirk when I realize my current situation:
I'm a new soul I came to this strange world hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take but since I came here felt the joy and the fear finding myself making every possible mistake (New Soul--Yael Naim)
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Yoga is really more of an anger issue than a relaxation technique
I officially hate yoga. I realize that people do yoga to relax, clear their heads, feel better and more positive about life…but it just makes me angry. Maybe it would have been okay if my instructor was an English speaker who told me nice things like “focus on your core…breathe slowly…really concentrate on clearing out your center…” or whatever it is my instructor is saying, but in Korean. The only words I understand are ‘left’ ‘right’ and ‘switch’. I also somehow caught onto whenever he was telling us to put one of our limbs down. Not sure how that happened…but my brain got it. This week the anger came to a head and last night at my last class EVER of yoga I sat there during my least favorite poses and refused to do them. I realize this proves that I have regressed significantly when it comes to maturity and constructive communication, but I just couldn’t pretend anymore. My body naturally bends in ways it really shouldn’t, so this man though I liked yoga and had done it back in the states. I feel that I proved to him my hate for yoga when I just looked at him and instead of forcing me to “Ashley, again” he just let me give him a dirty look. What a kind man. He really is a kind man though, he gave me a neti pot! Nevertheless, I am going back to running.
I bought a plane ticket to Taiwan today. Craziness. I’m pretty stoked though…it should be warm enough to make me feel like it’s not New Years. Then again, for China, it WON’T be New Years. That should be a good adventure…find New Year’s in a country that runs on a lunar calendar. I have no doubts in my skills though, I will find the scene or create one myself.
Let’s see, what are some life highlights…. One of my most fluent and youngest English speakers drew me a picture that said, “This is for you, Teacher. I love you.” And I nearly cried. It was so sweet. There is a REASON her class is one of my favorites and I look forward to it everyday. Also, a little girl who I have had MAJOR issues with teaching (I.e. when we began, she could BARELY read and had SOMEHOW passed all her phonics classes?!?!?!) gave me a gift today. Lately, she has been getting WAY better, actually being able to read words and is speaking more which makes me very, very happy. She gave me two pens that said ‘Korea’ on them and had handmade Korean dolls on them. It sounds weird, but they are really cool pens.
I am feeling like I am progressing in personal growth. Finally. I started writing about some goals I have for myself and why I decided to come to Korea, which helped a lot with making me feel grounded and confident in my decisions. I’ve been getting a little irritated with Korean lately. It doesn’t help that I think it is an ugly language and don’t have any personal draw to it…I’m not way into learning a language for things like survival. I can survive with English. I am trying to force myself to learn anyways and know that eventually I’ll become intrigued by Korean. Hopefully that time comes sooner rather than later.
I bought a plane ticket to Taiwan today. Craziness. I’m pretty stoked though…it should be warm enough to make me feel like it’s not New Years. Then again, for China, it WON’T be New Years. That should be a good adventure…find New Year’s in a country that runs on a lunar calendar. I have no doubts in my skills though, I will find the scene or create one myself.
Let’s see, what are some life highlights…. One of my most fluent and youngest English speakers drew me a picture that said, “This is for you, Teacher. I love you.” And I nearly cried. It was so sweet. There is a REASON her class is one of my favorites and I look forward to it everyday. Also, a little girl who I have had MAJOR issues with teaching (I.e. when we began, she could BARELY read and had SOMEHOW passed all her phonics classes?!?!?!) gave me a gift today. Lately, she has been getting WAY better, actually being able to read words and is speaking more which makes me very, very happy. She gave me two pens that said ‘Korea’ on them and had handmade Korean dolls on them. It sounds weird, but they are really cool pens.
I am feeling like I am progressing in personal growth. Finally. I started writing about some goals I have for myself and why I decided to come to Korea, which helped a lot with making me feel grounded and confident in my decisions. I’ve been getting a little irritated with Korean lately. It doesn’t help that I think it is an ugly language and don’t have any personal draw to it…I’m not way into learning a language for things like survival. I can survive with English. I am trying to force myself to learn anyways and know that eventually I’ll become intrigued by Korean. Hopefully that time comes sooner rather than later.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Holidays and the crazy things I do
So….how to process it all. I am getting better and better at this thing called culture shock mostly because it seems every culture is the same and simply expresses it differently. Once you find the common thread, what is left to be shocked over?
It doesn’t feel like Christmas in Korea because I’m not constantly being bombarded with reminders of how much money I need to spend since it’s CHRISTMAS and what ELSE do you do on Christmas but buy ridiculously expensive things for everyone in your life?! I’ve always loved every part of Christmas but the gifts. I think a couple years ago is when I stopped enjoying gifts. It just seems so ridiculous to feel pressured to buy things for people simply because that is what you did (or at least what the media screamed you should do). I understand the importance of tradition, I understand that there is the desire to show your loved ones that you love them by giving them something, but it feels so fake and forced. I always loved being able to relax, eat, joke around, watch movies, and just be with everyone I loved because it was Christmas. And then there was the candlelight Christmas Eve service…so beautiful. For some reason, I still cannot sleep on Christmas Eve…the excitement I felt as a child always creeps back up again and I just lay in bed with my eyes wide open and a smile on my face. I don’t know if that will happen this year. I don’t know though…I watched ‘Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!’ in one of my more advanced English classes the other night and cried when it got to the part where Linus tells the Christmas story out of the Bible. Then, tonight, I watched a scene from ‘The Polar Express’ and could not stop smiling. So, maybe that Christmas spirit is creeping up!
I do yoga here in Korea but for the past couple of times I have had to force myself to go. My instructor is unbelievably kind, but I just don’t really like yoga. I am already flexible, so I don’t really feel like it’s pushing me to new heights. All I feel it doing is inflict pain on random body parts because the language barrier causes me to pull muscles instead of gently stretch them. The instructor is always saying, “Ashley, slow, slow.” But when he isn’t watching and trying to instruct in Korean, I tend to go fast, fast. I definitely messed up my neck and in between my shoulders tonight. Go me. I think I’m going to go back to running.
The guy I do the language exchange with told me that a Russian professor he knows will let me start attending her classes for free. I am so excited! The only snags I see in this plan are 1. I hope the time of the classes match the times I can go and 2. I don’t know Korean and she doesn’t know English…so it looks like I will be learning Korean and Russian at the same time. I honestly think I know enough Russian for her to be able to explain any misunderstanding in Russian and it will be okay, but if not, then my Korean will also be getting better. Insane. I’m pretty excited and REALLY hope I can do the class. I’m hoping to meet her tomorrow when I go with my friend to his University.
I made chicken noodle soup pretty much from scratch the other night. Even though it’s not hard, it tasted amazing and that made me proud of myself.
I finally watched ‘Blood Diamond’ about a week ago and realized how in love with Africa I really am. A friend of mine said he doesn’t think it would take much to “fix” Africa, but then what would we have to “fix” next. I’m not sure I agree and I’m not sure one can really use an excuse like that to justify not doing it. There was a part in the movie where Leo DiCaprio’s character is talking to an African dude who asks Leo if he thinks there are good or bad people. Leo’s character says that he doesn’t think there are good or bad people, there are just people who DO good and bad things. Even a bad person can be redeemed by a good action. I found it very interesting, true, and somewhat disturbing how capable any person is of doing whatever they feel they have to. I’ve also been listening to a LOT of business/economic NPR programs. It’s very interesting hearing about all the pieces of the puzzle that make up the current economic state of the world. Learning about the hyperinflation happening in Zimbabwe blew my mind. How that mess will get figured out is beyond me.
I think this is enough of an update for now. My Thanksgiving turned out to be FANTASTIC and I got to eat stuffing made from scratch by me. There, of course, were other wonderful things to eat and my Irish friend that taunted me over how many Thanksgiving’s he was getting ended up giving me turkey. All was well. J
It doesn’t feel like Christmas in Korea because I’m not constantly being bombarded with reminders of how much money I need to spend since it’s CHRISTMAS and what ELSE do you do on Christmas but buy ridiculously expensive things for everyone in your life?! I’ve always loved every part of Christmas but the gifts. I think a couple years ago is when I stopped enjoying gifts. It just seems so ridiculous to feel pressured to buy things for people simply because that is what you did (or at least what the media screamed you should do). I understand the importance of tradition, I understand that there is the desire to show your loved ones that you love them by giving them something, but it feels so fake and forced. I always loved being able to relax, eat, joke around, watch movies, and just be with everyone I loved because it was Christmas. And then there was the candlelight Christmas Eve service…so beautiful. For some reason, I still cannot sleep on Christmas Eve…the excitement I felt as a child always creeps back up again and I just lay in bed with my eyes wide open and a smile on my face. I don’t know if that will happen this year. I don’t know though…I watched ‘Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!’ in one of my more advanced English classes the other night and cried when it got to the part where Linus tells the Christmas story out of the Bible. Then, tonight, I watched a scene from ‘The Polar Express’ and could not stop smiling. So, maybe that Christmas spirit is creeping up!
I do yoga here in Korea but for the past couple of times I have had to force myself to go. My instructor is unbelievably kind, but I just don’t really like yoga. I am already flexible, so I don’t really feel like it’s pushing me to new heights. All I feel it doing is inflict pain on random body parts because the language barrier causes me to pull muscles instead of gently stretch them. The instructor is always saying, “Ashley, slow, slow.” But when he isn’t watching and trying to instruct in Korean, I tend to go fast, fast. I definitely messed up my neck and in between my shoulders tonight. Go me. I think I’m going to go back to running.
The guy I do the language exchange with told me that a Russian professor he knows will let me start attending her classes for free. I am so excited! The only snags I see in this plan are 1. I hope the time of the classes match the times I can go and 2. I don’t know Korean and she doesn’t know English…so it looks like I will be learning Korean and Russian at the same time. I honestly think I know enough Russian for her to be able to explain any misunderstanding in Russian and it will be okay, but if not, then my Korean will also be getting better. Insane. I’m pretty excited and REALLY hope I can do the class. I’m hoping to meet her tomorrow when I go with my friend to his University.
I made chicken noodle soup pretty much from scratch the other night. Even though it’s not hard, it tasted amazing and that made me proud of myself.
I finally watched ‘Blood Diamond’ about a week ago and realized how in love with Africa I really am. A friend of mine said he doesn’t think it would take much to “fix” Africa, but then what would we have to “fix” next. I’m not sure I agree and I’m not sure one can really use an excuse like that to justify not doing it. There was a part in the movie where Leo DiCaprio’s character is talking to an African dude who asks Leo if he thinks there are good or bad people. Leo’s character says that he doesn’t think there are good or bad people, there are just people who DO good and bad things. Even a bad person can be redeemed by a good action. I found it very interesting, true, and somewhat disturbing how capable any person is of doing whatever they feel they have to. I’ve also been listening to a LOT of business/economic NPR programs. It’s very interesting hearing about all the pieces of the puzzle that make up the current economic state of the world. Learning about the hyperinflation happening in Zimbabwe blew my mind. How that mess will get figured out is beyond me.
I think this is enough of an update for now. My Thanksgiving turned out to be FANTASTIC and I got to eat stuffing made from scratch by me. There, of course, were other wonderful things to eat and my Irish friend that taunted me over how many Thanksgiving’s he was getting ended up giving me turkey. All was well. J
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thanksgiving. The day non Americans get to eat turkey and Ashley does not.
It’s Thanksgiving. Being in South Korea for Thanksgiving reminds me of when I was in Russia for Thanksgiving…it’s just another day. In Russia, we had the day off and we went to our professor’s house, everyone bringing a different dish, but it wasn’t the same. Everyone seemed sad and like they had way better things to do. No one was happy except for me and a couple of my friends. The day pretty much sucked and made me miss home. Today was a bit of the same. I did not have the day off (which makes sense since Thanksgiving is an American holiday), I felt rushed through my entire day, I had to get up at 8:30 to get everything done and still got barely anything done due to unforeseen circumstances, Omar turned his phone off so I did not get to talk to him, I ate junk food, I am tired, I didn’t get to go to yoga or do any real exercise, and an Irish friend of mine taunted me about how much real Thanksgiving food he will be eating which I will not be…even though he is Irish and I am American and it should be the other way around. Sidenote on the Irish taunting me. Not only did he get a Thanksgiving dinner courtesy of his university complete with turkey (which I will not be eating), the day after Thanksgiving he is going to Seoul where food will be delivered from a US military base. So…he gets an entirely authentic American Thanksgiving. Maybe even two. So yes, I am complaining a bit, but today I got just a tidgin (I may have made that word up) irritated at the whole ordeal. I don’t know that I was actually homesick, I just wanted rest I think. Just a bit of time where I feel clear and happy, at peace, with people I am comfortable with…I don’t know, a moment where everything seems right.
I really should not complain though, I have a lot to be thankful for. Saturday I will be celebrating Thanksgiving with some American and non American friends. It’s going to be great, I found someone who has an oven so I can cook (overjoyed, you have no idea)!!
I’m thinking of going to Taiwan for my winter break because…I can. That’s pretty much the reason. Thailand seems a bit out of the question due to the airports being closed ad the fact that it’s high tourist season. That sucks for all the tourists there now that can’t leave. Or is awesome because they can’t leave a paradise…depends on how you look at it I guess. I’m also planning a DMZ trip for December. It should be an interesting time, visiting the most heavily fortified border in the world. Or the most something having to do with military and defense in the world. I think it’s most fortified…but I can’t be sure. There’s a lot of military there, that’s all I know. It’s pretty insane to be living in a country that’s technically still at war with North Korea since they never signed anything saying the war was over. It was rumored that they’ll be closing the DMZ soon since North Korea is getting increasingly unhappy with South…but they’re always kind of going back an forth.
I have the cough of death currently. It is this terrible dry cough that just lingers on into eternity. Or, if you’re me, eternity is defined as one week. I just don’t like coughing every time I speak especially considering my job requires me to be speaking most of the day. I feel like it’s getting better…but it would be great if it was just gone. I don’t cough a lot during yoga, but I think that has a lot to do with how deliberate my breathing is and that fact that I’m not talking during yoga.
Also, I have been told the following things this week: I have crow's feet and dimensia (from the kid that hates me), my name sounds like a yacht or an insurance company, I absolutely have to have a roommate but I don't have to switch apartments. Crow's feet? Wrinkles? Dear, Lord! I could only laugh when he said it because...I know he does not appreciate me forcing him to speak English. But I guess he should have thought I would force him to speak English...at an English school. Go figure.
I really should not complain though, I have a lot to be thankful for. Saturday I will be celebrating Thanksgiving with some American and non American friends. It’s going to be great, I found someone who has an oven so I can cook (overjoyed, you have no idea)!!
I’m thinking of going to Taiwan for my winter break because…I can. That’s pretty much the reason. Thailand seems a bit out of the question due to the airports being closed ad the fact that it’s high tourist season. That sucks for all the tourists there now that can’t leave. Or is awesome because they can’t leave a paradise…depends on how you look at it I guess. I’m also planning a DMZ trip for December. It should be an interesting time, visiting the most heavily fortified border in the world. Or the most something having to do with military and defense in the world. I think it’s most fortified…but I can’t be sure. There’s a lot of military there, that’s all I know. It’s pretty insane to be living in a country that’s technically still at war with North Korea since they never signed anything saying the war was over. It was rumored that they’ll be closing the DMZ soon since North Korea is getting increasingly unhappy with South…but they’re always kind of going back an forth.
I have the cough of death currently. It is this terrible dry cough that just lingers on into eternity. Or, if you’re me, eternity is defined as one week. I just don’t like coughing every time I speak especially considering my job requires me to be speaking most of the day. I feel like it’s getting better…but it would be great if it was just gone. I don’t cough a lot during yoga, but I think that has a lot to do with how deliberate my breathing is and that fact that I’m not talking during yoga.
Also, I have been told the following things this week: I have crow's feet and dimensia (from the kid that hates me), my name sounds like a yacht or an insurance company, I absolutely have to have a roommate but I don't have to switch apartments. Crow's feet? Wrinkles? Dear, Lord! I could only laugh when he said it because...I know he does not appreciate me forcing him to speak English. But I guess he should have thought I would force him to speak English...at an English school. Go figure.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
I blame everything on a hot dog
I blame all of my current symptoms on a hot dog. And the only reason this is okay is because I am sick. When I’m sick, I can pretty much make any ridiculous claim I want and it’s okay. And why am I sick? Because of a hot dog.
A few of my friends here came down with this terrible flu-like coldish sort of sickness that was lingering on into forever and I hope that I would not catch it. I took vitamins, but when I skipped a day I started coming down with something. I hate forgetting. So…I pretty much ate only vegetables the entire day and felt amazingly better. The next day, I forgot my carrots at home and got a hot dog from Buy the Way (a convenience store) thinking that the protein would do me good. I forgot that it really wasn’t protein I was eating, it was chemicals and nitrates and whatever else they put in convenience store hot dogs from Denmark. It said it was from Denmark anyways. From then on it was all downhill. I felt like CRAP the rest of the night. I blame it on the hot dog.
In happier news, I discovered the beauty that is the Neti pot and fully appreciate floor heating.
Thanksgiving is in a week and I really cannot believe it. I’m pretty sure I will not be having a Thanksgiving like any other year. In fact, I will be giving monthly tests all day until 9:05 pm and then I’m pretty sure I’m not going to try and cook something huge for myself that late. So…maybe a weekend Thanksgiving. Or no Thanksgiving. Kind of a shame seeing as Thanksgiving is one of my fave holidays because I can eat all the foods I really really like and the day after Thanksgiving ALWAYS feels like the holidays. I’m not going to complain though, it will be an entirely new experience, and I think I may try and trek to the Buddha to observe Thanksgiving in my own way. It should be a good time.
One of my students told me they hated me and I said, “hahah, wow!” and they were shocked at my response. To be honest, I was just impressed that they knew the word hate. This class is also known for being a class of douches. I would be happy to stop being their teacher, but I have to look beyond their terrible behavior and pretend I’m doing SOME good in their lives.
A few of my friends here came down with this terrible flu-like coldish sort of sickness that was lingering on into forever and I hope that I would not catch it. I took vitamins, but when I skipped a day I started coming down with something. I hate forgetting. So…I pretty much ate only vegetables the entire day and felt amazingly better. The next day, I forgot my carrots at home and got a hot dog from Buy the Way (a convenience store) thinking that the protein would do me good. I forgot that it really wasn’t protein I was eating, it was chemicals and nitrates and whatever else they put in convenience store hot dogs from Denmark. It said it was from Denmark anyways. From then on it was all downhill. I felt like CRAP the rest of the night. I blame it on the hot dog.
In happier news, I discovered the beauty that is the Neti pot and fully appreciate floor heating.
Thanksgiving is in a week and I really cannot believe it. I’m pretty sure I will not be having a Thanksgiving like any other year. In fact, I will be giving monthly tests all day until 9:05 pm and then I’m pretty sure I’m not going to try and cook something huge for myself that late. So…maybe a weekend Thanksgiving. Or no Thanksgiving. Kind of a shame seeing as Thanksgiving is one of my fave holidays because I can eat all the foods I really really like and the day after Thanksgiving ALWAYS feels like the holidays. I’m not going to complain though, it will be an entirely new experience, and I think I may try and trek to the Buddha to observe Thanksgiving in my own way. It should be a good time.
One of my students told me they hated me and I said, “hahah, wow!” and they were shocked at my response. To be honest, I was just impressed that they knew the word hate. This class is also known for being a class of douches. I would be happy to stop being their teacher, but I have to look beyond their terrible behavior and pretend I’m doing SOME good in their lives.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
This is what I get for learning Korean.
I try to be a healthy person. Anyone from back home knows that I love all natural food, exercise often, and generally love being healthy. I’m very much against loads of chemicals and processing food until it isn’t really food anymore. Korea hasn’t really gotten into the health food movement and it can be difficult to get healthy food here for cheap, in fact I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to get CHEAP health food, it’s always more expensive. I understand this, compromise, and just try my best with what’s around. I’ve been doing pretty good at avoiding loads of chemicals and over processed shit. Lately I have been learning Korean and recently learned how to read it. A lot of things here are written in Konglish which means that if you can sound it out, it sounds like what the English equivalent is. So I’m cooking some pasta and added some salt to the water. When I bought the salt, I just picked the cheapest bag and went with it. I couldn’t read back then, so I didn’t really know what it was…but salt is salt, right? No. Salt is not salt. I am standing in my kitchen over the pot of boiling water sounding out, “mah…suh…ge….SHIT!” I have been putting straight MSG in my food. Wow. Awesome. Let me pump my body full of MORE chemicals I wouldn’t touch if I was in America. Ugh.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
People are people
I finally realized people are people. This sounds like a pretty lame and obvious realization, but I feel like it has a lot more depth. I’ll try to explain but I feel like this is better explained in person with my passion and hand movements to accompany.
I’ve been having some encounters with people lately that have involved labels. What I mean by this is people see me interacting with someone and ask me about it later only to tell me about that person’s label, such as ‘so and so is a player’ ‘that person is a flake’ ‘this person is a gossip’ and on and on. In the past, I’ve never paid too much attention to labels, or I did pay attention and either treated the person respectively (I’m sorry) or got to know them better so they could prove their label wrong. Since I’ve been here, I have heard more people be labeled than I would have cared to. And here is what I learned: people talk. People say anything they want based on assumptions and very little evidence. They will be nice to you to your face and say things behind your back based on their perceptions, not truth. I guess people could argue that perceptions are truth, but when you apply this argument to labels I think it doesn’t hold too well. I feel like labels help people categorize others in order to make themselves feel more comfortable, even safer. After all, if you know who you think someone is there is very little risk involved with the person. But I say…we’re all just people. Labels work to certain extent, but not if they’re based on only YOUR perception and not if they are used to prove to yourself you are better than someone else so that you can feel more at ease with the person.
People are people. Everyone is the same to a certain extent. We all feel pain, we have all been hurt, we’re all trying to find something that makes our lives seem worth it, we all want someone to see us (really see us), we laugh, we live, we learn…we all do those things. Being a better person is as simple as realizing that everyone is human. I think we forget that sometimes and look at people as competition, pain, or regret. But people are none of those things, no matter what, people are still people.
I think that life has a tendency to sneak up on you. Maybe not life…maybe that’s not what I mean…maybe I mean I have a tendency to sneak up on myself. I am slowly figuring out what makes me tick, what makes me really happy. It is an interesting discovery and definitely one that is being done step by step, which is not the easiest thing for an impatient person like myself. I’ve always said I feel like I always choose the hardest way to do everything, but I think what I mean is that I always choose the most rewarding and it always ends up being the hardest.
I’ve been having some encounters with people lately that have involved labels. What I mean by this is people see me interacting with someone and ask me about it later only to tell me about that person’s label, such as ‘so and so is a player’ ‘that person is a flake’ ‘this person is a gossip’ and on and on. In the past, I’ve never paid too much attention to labels, or I did pay attention and either treated the person respectively (I’m sorry) or got to know them better so they could prove their label wrong. Since I’ve been here, I have heard more people be labeled than I would have cared to. And here is what I learned: people talk. People say anything they want based on assumptions and very little evidence. They will be nice to you to your face and say things behind your back based on their perceptions, not truth. I guess people could argue that perceptions are truth, but when you apply this argument to labels I think it doesn’t hold too well. I feel like labels help people categorize others in order to make themselves feel more comfortable, even safer. After all, if you know who you think someone is there is very little risk involved with the person. But I say…we’re all just people. Labels work to certain extent, but not if they’re based on only YOUR perception and not if they are used to prove to yourself you are better than someone else so that you can feel more at ease with the person.
People are people. Everyone is the same to a certain extent. We all feel pain, we have all been hurt, we’re all trying to find something that makes our lives seem worth it, we all want someone to see us (really see us), we laugh, we live, we learn…we all do those things. Being a better person is as simple as realizing that everyone is human. I think we forget that sometimes and look at people as competition, pain, or regret. But people are none of those things, no matter what, people are still people.
I think that life has a tendency to sneak up on you. Maybe not life…maybe that’s not what I mean…maybe I mean I have a tendency to sneak up on myself. I am slowly figuring out what makes me tick, what makes me really happy. It is an interesting discovery and definitely one that is being done step by step, which is not the easiest thing for an impatient person like myself. I’ve always said I feel like I always choose the hardest way to do everything, but I think what I mean is that I always choose the most rewarding and it always ends up being the hardest.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
The culture of the tongue
Haven’t updated this in awhile…but I guess I’ve been busy. This past weekend I was not in my apartment at all sans when I had to change clothes and take a shower. Not much sleep was had, but it was HALLOWEEN!
I don’t think many people necessarily get into Halloween as a true holiday as much as they get into it for a reason to party…not that you need a reason in Cheonan. I learned that Halloween was started in the UK. That’s pretty much all I learned on Halloween.
I am officially in the numb stage of culture shock. That is technically not a stage, but I’ve felt it before and know that it is part of culture shock for me. I think when I lived in Russia everything was softened by the fact that we were attending University, living, hanging out, eating, and talking with other Americans while in Russia. So while I felt some culture shock there…that didn’t come until I moved in with my Russian family. Right now it seems like I feel nothing. The only thing that jarred me out of it was when a kid got hit yesterday because I told my boss he was bad. He was being really terrible in my class, refusing to do anything. It frustrated me so much that I told my boss, the “principal”, that this kid was acting out. Instead of talking to him, like I THOUGH he would do, he hit him with a stick! I almost cried. I felt so bad that because he was bad in class, he got hit. Apparently, that is the norm here, but I hate it. I can understand a parent disciplining their child with spanking, but that is their CHILD! I guess in public schools they straight up beat the crap out of kids and it is totally accepted. I was a little shaken by it.
This weekend I am going to see a giant bronze buddha that is in my city. I’m pretty excited since I heard about it before I even came here, and now I get to see it!
I think I may be sort of getting the hang of teaching. I know I am still learning, everyday brings its challenges, but for someone who has never been trained to teach I think I’m doing okay. I don’t like being just okay at something, though. I want to be amazing. I want my students to speak beautifully. Speaking of speaking beautifully, I have officially had two Korean ‘lessons”. I use lesson loosely since it’s a language exchange, so we both teach each other. I can read (slowly), say basic greetings, and tell my taxi driver directions. I can also order random things like coffee, water, beer, and various other alcoholic beverages. It’s coming along! It’s helpful that I live in Korea, otherwise I would never learn this language. It is so interesting to see the connections between language and culture. They are absolutely knitted together. And that is exactly why I love learning languages.
I don’t think many people necessarily get into Halloween as a true holiday as much as they get into it for a reason to party…not that you need a reason in Cheonan. I learned that Halloween was started in the UK. That’s pretty much all I learned on Halloween.
I am officially in the numb stage of culture shock. That is technically not a stage, but I’ve felt it before and know that it is part of culture shock for me. I think when I lived in Russia everything was softened by the fact that we were attending University, living, hanging out, eating, and talking with other Americans while in Russia. So while I felt some culture shock there…that didn’t come until I moved in with my Russian family. Right now it seems like I feel nothing. The only thing that jarred me out of it was when a kid got hit yesterday because I told my boss he was bad. He was being really terrible in my class, refusing to do anything. It frustrated me so much that I told my boss, the “principal”, that this kid was acting out. Instead of talking to him, like I THOUGH he would do, he hit him with a stick! I almost cried. I felt so bad that because he was bad in class, he got hit. Apparently, that is the norm here, but I hate it. I can understand a parent disciplining their child with spanking, but that is their CHILD! I guess in public schools they straight up beat the crap out of kids and it is totally accepted. I was a little shaken by it.
This weekend I am going to see a giant bronze buddha that is in my city. I’m pretty excited since I heard about it before I even came here, and now I get to see it!
I think I may be sort of getting the hang of teaching. I know I am still learning, everyday brings its challenges, but for someone who has never been trained to teach I think I’m doing okay. I don’t like being just okay at something, though. I want to be amazing. I want my students to speak beautifully. Speaking of speaking beautifully, I have officially had two Korean ‘lessons”. I use lesson loosely since it’s a language exchange, so we both teach each other. I can read (slowly), say basic greetings, and tell my taxi driver directions. I can also order random things like coffee, water, beer, and various other alcoholic beverages. It’s coming along! It’s helpful that I live in Korea, otherwise I would never learn this language. It is so interesting to see the connections between language and culture. They are absolutely knitted together. And that is exactly why I love learning languages.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Seoul
This weekend gave me: a lump on each knee complete with very large bruises, an aching left hip, calloused feet, a wet skirt, and a smile. Yes, you know what all that means, I went to Seoul.
A friend of mine was having a birthday and wanted to go to Seoul, so I went along. We took the KTX which is this super fast train that takes only about 30-40 minutes to get to Seoul and the time goes by really fast. It was so great being a city with a subway…I always love cities that have great public transport, they hold a special place in my heart. The next morning I remember a few stories that for some reason make me smile, so let me share.
First, the place we went dancing was called ‘funky funky’ which seems like a GREAT name for a club that attracts foreigners to dance on a Saturday night in Korea but it would never work out in the states. It sounds too ‘douchey douchey’, I think. The upside was there was live music and then a DJ until 6 am and free booze until 4 am all for 25000 won. Sounds like a lot, but it’s only about $25...or $37 with the exchange rate (yay global recession!). I got dance on a speaker which was great because…I got to dance on a speaker. I also met a Welsh guy named Christopher and decided I like the Welsh. They’ve always been so lovely. He wasn’t a creep and didn’t try to do anything, so it made me a fan of the Welsh. I also met a Korean who was trying to get me to drink beer by shoving it in my hands (I was actually at the bar to get liquor, I definitely did not want beer and he didn‘t work the bar, he just wanted me to drink more). I pretended to have no idea what he was saying and proceeded to pour it down his throat and make it seem like that’s what I thought he wanted all along, and then I walked away. There’s loads more stories, but those were a couple of my favorites. I actually stayed out dancing until 5 am and my feet hurt like you wouldn’t believe. I woke up with calloused feet right below my toes from wearing heels, I felt disabled. The only downer to the night came when we tried to get a taxi, no one would take us. Either they ignored everyone trying to get a taxi, told us our place was too close (very much not true), or only picked up Koreans. It was so strange being discriminated against like that. At first, I thought it was just everyone else being paranoid, but then I noticed that the taxi drivers really were only picking up Koreans if they picked up anyone. I guess I can chalk that one up to a new experience that will help me understand others who have been discriminated against.
I still feel as if I’m trying to find my groove here but I’m enjoying the process. I found a CELTA program in Seoul that I could go to, but I would rather find one in Cheonan to avoid all the transportation and time costs of Seoul. I’ve also been waking up at a decent time and not sleeping until I HAVE to get up to go to work. Even though there are a lot of bumps and learning opportunities that make me unhappy, I can say that I really like my life. Maybe not love, but I’ll get there.
A friend of mine was having a birthday and wanted to go to Seoul, so I went along. We took the KTX which is this super fast train that takes only about 30-40 minutes to get to Seoul and the time goes by really fast. It was so great being a city with a subway…I always love cities that have great public transport, they hold a special place in my heart. The next morning I remember a few stories that for some reason make me smile, so let me share.
First, the place we went dancing was called ‘funky funky’ which seems like a GREAT name for a club that attracts foreigners to dance on a Saturday night in Korea but it would never work out in the states. It sounds too ‘douchey douchey’, I think. The upside was there was live music and then a DJ until 6 am and free booze until 4 am all for 25000 won. Sounds like a lot, but it’s only about $25...or $37 with the exchange rate (yay global recession!). I got dance on a speaker which was great because…I got to dance on a speaker. I also met a Welsh guy named Christopher and decided I like the Welsh. They’ve always been so lovely. He wasn’t a creep and didn’t try to do anything, so it made me a fan of the Welsh. I also met a Korean who was trying to get me to drink beer by shoving it in my hands (I was actually at the bar to get liquor, I definitely did not want beer and he didn‘t work the bar, he just wanted me to drink more). I pretended to have no idea what he was saying and proceeded to pour it down his throat and make it seem like that’s what I thought he wanted all along, and then I walked away. There’s loads more stories, but those were a couple of my favorites. I actually stayed out dancing until 5 am and my feet hurt like you wouldn’t believe. I woke up with calloused feet right below my toes from wearing heels, I felt disabled. The only downer to the night came when we tried to get a taxi, no one would take us. Either they ignored everyone trying to get a taxi, told us our place was too close (very much not true), or only picked up Koreans. It was so strange being discriminated against like that. At first, I thought it was just everyone else being paranoid, but then I noticed that the taxi drivers really were only picking up Koreans if they picked up anyone. I guess I can chalk that one up to a new experience that will help me understand others who have been discriminated against.
I still feel as if I’m trying to find my groove here but I’m enjoying the process. I found a CELTA program in Seoul that I could go to, but I would rather find one in Cheonan to avoid all the transportation and time costs of Seoul. I’ve also been waking up at a decent time and not sleeping until I HAVE to get up to go to work. Even though there are a lot of bumps and learning opportunities that make me unhappy, I can say that I really like my life. Maybe not love, but I’ll get there.
Friday, October 24, 2008
This entry does NOT deserve a title.
I just got done watching The Pianist. Finally. I saw parts of it before I left the states when I was on the phone with someone and my dad was watching it in the living room because he couldn’t sleep. No one needed to know all those details. Anyways, watching it reminded me of my dad and I really missed him. Also, I miss him, not just missED him. I was making dinner tonight and realized I haven’t talked to my mom on the phone since I got here. It made me sad and I wanted to hug her…and I know she read this. So…mom and dad, I miss you. I honestly do.
Right now I’m listening to my latest addiction (‘I’m Yours’ by Jason Mraz) and I noticed that I am constantly paranoid that I’m bothering my neighbors. I can hear everything in their apartment, I’m sure they can hear me. I play music….whenever I am in my apartment and am always afraid it will be too loud at 2 am. Then I think that even if they complained, I would never know. I don’t answer my door due to constant knocking and ringing from over zealous religious folk or adverts and even if I DID answer and it was my neighbors to complain, I would have no idea what they were saying. I use commas too much. I always meant to look into when I was REALLY supposed to use commas but I never did. Now I teach English. Life is funny that way, always making you do things that have nothing to do with who you are. Then again, that could just be my life. I feel like this entry is kinda random and without a point.
I’m going to Seoul tomorrow. I really hope to do something very Ashley-like such as make friends with a stranger and learn something new from them that leads to a crazy realization that will then alter the course of the next few hours of decision making. I can only hope. I need a crazy realization to drive some decision making. I feel like I don’t have a clue what’s next. While that has an element of excitement…it also makes me feel like everyday just sort of exists without a purpose and that is not something I enjoy.
Things about Korea that make me happy: foreigners (I mean Westerners, Koreans are native not foreign here), beef, learning enough Korean to not be intimidated by a grocery store, children that give me food, Cass Red (but that could change).
Things about Korea that make me angry: my boss, kids that will not listen and force me to yell, not knowing enough Korean to talk to anyone I want, my dirty floors, the exchange rate.
Anyone know of any good books on the History of any country in existence? And….how to get paid to go to Grad school?
Right now I’m listening to my latest addiction (‘I’m Yours’ by Jason Mraz) and I noticed that I am constantly paranoid that I’m bothering my neighbors. I can hear everything in their apartment, I’m sure they can hear me. I play music….whenever I am in my apartment and am always afraid it will be too loud at 2 am. Then I think that even if they complained, I would never know. I don’t answer my door due to constant knocking and ringing from over zealous religious folk or adverts and even if I DID answer and it was my neighbors to complain, I would have no idea what they were saying. I use commas too much. I always meant to look into when I was REALLY supposed to use commas but I never did. Now I teach English. Life is funny that way, always making you do things that have nothing to do with who you are. Then again, that could just be my life. I feel like this entry is kinda random and without a point.
I’m going to Seoul tomorrow. I really hope to do something very Ashley-like such as make friends with a stranger and learn something new from them that leads to a crazy realization that will then alter the course of the next few hours of decision making. I can only hope. I need a crazy realization to drive some decision making. I feel like I don’t have a clue what’s next. While that has an element of excitement…it also makes me feel like everyday just sort of exists without a purpose and that is not something I enjoy.
Things about Korea that make me happy: foreigners (I mean Westerners, Koreans are native not foreign here), beef, learning enough Korean to not be intimidated by a grocery store, children that give me food, Cass Red (but that could change).
Things about Korea that make me angry: my boss, kids that will not listen and force me to yell, not knowing enough Korean to talk to anyone I want, my dirty floors, the exchange rate.
Anyone know of any good books on the History of any country in existence? And….how to get paid to go to Grad school?
Monday, October 20, 2008
Idealism and Poetry
Oh, reflection! I don’t know that I’ve been doing enough of it lately, but I have recently been barraged (sp?) by a huge amount of references to some variation of carpe diem. Here’s what I mean. Lately, all I’ve been watching or hearing has in some way or another told me I need to experience all I can. Taste it, drink it, live it, soak it in, question it, laugh at it, be it. In fact, I was watching Anderson Cooper 360 and at the end he says, “You can’t just sit behind a desk all the time and think you know what’s going on in the world. You have to go out and see it for yourself. You gotta smell it, you gotta taste it, you gotta see it.”
I never want to just sit behind a desk all the time. I never want to forget what the world is like, how they hurt, how they laugh, how they live. I know that I am generally an idealistic person who thinks everything has a positive side and will talk herself into anything…but I want to learn how to stand up for people who can’t stand up for themselves. How to educate people about how the world really works, what the world is really facing. I don’t want to hide behind my ignorance and comfort. I know that it will be hard for me to learn how to change the world I live in but I really want to learn. I want whatever career I end up in to be one that allows me the power to affect lives. I know that just by writing this I am an idealist, just by thinking I could one day have the power to change things is idealistic. But…if I think that I can do nothing, then what is the point of even knowing what is happening? What is the point of being educated? Maybe what I will end up doing will be small but, whatever it is, I hope it helps in some way.
Related to that in a small way, I am happy I am here in Korea. I am still not convinced Korea is an awesome country but I know that I can learn a lot here about myself, people, and everything else there is to know. I want to learn, I truly do. Now, I just have to figure out what it is I want next. Even though I still have a year here, if I don’t start thinking now about what is next I may get stuck.
While I’ve been here I have also stumbled upon Pablo Neruda. He is a poet whom I enjoy reading very, very much. I’ll end with a poem that I really love with a piece of my soul.
If You Forget Me by Pablo Neruda
I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenlyyou forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine
I never want to just sit behind a desk all the time. I never want to forget what the world is like, how they hurt, how they laugh, how they live. I know that I am generally an idealistic person who thinks everything has a positive side and will talk herself into anything…but I want to learn how to stand up for people who can’t stand up for themselves. How to educate people about how the world really works, what the world is really facing. I don’t want to hide behind my ignorance and comfort. I know that it will be hard for me to learn how to change the world I live in but I really want to learn. I want whatever career I end up in to be one that allows me the power to affect lives. I know that just by writing this I am an idealist, just by thinking I could one day have the power to change things is idealistic. But…if I think that I can do nothing, then what is the point of even knowing what is happening? What is the point of being educated? Maybe what I will end up doing will be small but, whatever it is, I hope it helps in some way.
Related to that in a small way, I am happy I am here in Korea. I am still not convinced Korea is an awesome country but I know that I can learn a lot here about myself, people, and everything else there is to know. I want to learn, I truly do. Now, I just have to figure out what it is I want next. Even though I still have a year here, if I don’t start thinking now about what is next I may get stuck.
While I’ve been here I have also stumbled upon Pablo Neruda. He is a poet whom I enjoy reading very, very much. I’ll end with a poem that I really love with a piece of my soul.
If You Forget Me by Pablo Neruda
I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenlyyou forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Songtan
I feel like I'm finally settling in and this is how I am able to tell. I sleep on my bare mattress here because it's brand new and it's fuzzy like it already has a sheet on it. The annoying part is that where my feet go there are a bunch of labels so it feels different than the rest of the mattress. A few days ago I had the really obvious realization that if I flipped my mattress over, my label troubles would be gone. Noticing the little things shows me I'm starting to settle. And it made me feel kinda dumb.
Even though I am feeling as if I'm starting to settle, I am also starting to think "Ugh, I hate Korea." way too much. There are way too many moments. One just occurred about 2 minutes ago. I THOUGHT I was watching the Sound of Music as I flipped through the channels and I was so excited! But no, it was a clip from the Sound of Music that was actually an effing dream sequence in some awkward Korean comedy show. I wanted to punch my tv.
I'm beginning to learn the language but lack the sort of discipline it takes to sit down by myself and learn the alphabet. I lose interest after about...5 minutes. It's really pathetic. I just do so much better in a classroom. How am I gonna look at a square and repeat, "mm, mm, mm" by myself for longer than 20 seconds? Seriously.
I went to Songtan last night which is a town pretty much occupied by an Air Force base near here. I was surprised by how overwhelmed I got being surrounded by American military men. It was really insane though, a complete mix of emotions. It was like the downtown street we were on was America but we were still in Korea. We ate at a Mexican restaraunt and even the restaraunt seemed like America because all the workers spoke English VERY well. It made me feel so sad to be somewhere I knew was far away from home but looked just like it. The entire place was a giant tease that I cannot wait to go back to when I REALLY start to miss home.
Even though I am feeling as if I'm starting to settle, I am also starting to think "Ugh, I hate Korea." way too much. There are way too many moments. One just occurred about 2 minutes ago. I THOUGHT I was watching the Sound of Music as I flipped through the channels and I was so excited! But no, it was a clip from the Sound of Music that was actually an effing dream sequence in some awkward Korean comedy show. I wanted to punch my tv.
I'm beginning to learn the language but lack the sort of discipline it takes to sit down by myself and learn the alphabet. I lose interest after about...5 minutes. It's really pathetic. I just do so much better in a classroom. How am I gonna look at a square and repeat, "mm, mm, mm" by myself for longer than 20 seconds? Seriously.
I went to Songtan last night which is a town pretty much occupied by an Air Force base near here. I was surprised by how overwhelmed I got being surrounded by American military men. It was really insane though, a complete mix of emotions. It was like the downtown street we were on was America but we were still in Korea. We ate at a Mexican restaraunt and even the restaraunt seemed like America because all the workers spoke English VERY well. It made me feel so sad to be somewhere I knew was far away from home but looked just like it. The entire place was a giant tease that I cannot wait to go back to when I REALLY start to miss home.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Embarassing moments
Since I've been in Korea a lot of embarassing things have happened...but tonight I felt very, very foreign.
I was so hungry when I got done with work since all I ate the entire day was a small bowl of soup, more of a cup really. All I wanted to eat was these things called Mandu. I don't really know how to spell it, but they're like little dumpling filled with meat and vegetables and deep fried. Maybe not the healthiest thing ever but I have a soft spot for street food. My co worker had told me about this awesome pork cheese thing I should get, but I couldn't really find the place since I can't read Korean and wasn't really sure if I had found it or not. So instead I started wandering around my dong (that word always makes me giggle a bit but it just means area or neighborhood) and found a mandu place. I was so excited. I wanted seven. Yes, I knew that I wanted exactly seven. So I went up to the lady and put up fingers and she said something in Korean and I just nodded. I had no idea what she said. I wanted 7 and I had 7 fingers up....so can you mess that up? Yes, you can. In fact, apparently 7 fingers means, 'give me all the mandu that you have in that little basket there and then add like 5 more.' Yeah, 7 fingers says all that. I also had added stuff to the order and ended up with way more food than I could eat in one sitting. I Way more. And at the end when she was putting them in a bag I said, 'finished' after 7 and she said a lot of stuff in Korean, pretty much telling me I ordered way more. But...I don't know how it happened. Whatever. I have mandu for days now. I felt so bad though, I'm sure her and the other lady thought, 'this foreigner....why is she trying to order food when she doesn't know Korean?' The answer is, because I am hungry. That's why. When I was eating them I bit into this purpleish looking one and realized it was sundae. Sundae (or however you spell it) it pig intestines stuffed with noodles with sauce. It just grosses me out knowing it's pig intestines. I still ate almost the whole 4 inches of the deep fried poo pipe before I just couldn't anymore. And it was so salty I didn't really like the taste.
On the bright side, I just got done watching 'How I Met Your Mother' on Korean cable. It was a rerun, but it was great to watch American tv here.
My bad mandu experience has convinced me more than ever I need Korean lessons. I like experiencing the culture and the language is part of that. It really feels like it's hard to find lessons though, they are not just readily available everywhere which is really disappointing. I'm still not sure how I feel about Korea. I don't feel as if it is the most welcoming or open country but I also haven't gotten very much into learning more about Korea so far. So...we'll see what happens.
I was so hungry when I got done with work since all I ate the entire day was a small bowl of soup, more of a cup really. All I wanted to eat was these things called Mandu. I don't really know how to spell it, but they're like little dumpling filled with meat and vegetables and deep fried. Maybe not the healthiest thing ever but I have a soft spot for street food. My co worker had told me about this awesome pork cheese thing I should get, but I couldn't really find the place since I can't read Korean and wasn't really sure if I had found it or not. So instead I started wandering around my dong (that word always makes me giggle a bit but it just means area or neighborhood) and found a mandu place. I was so excited. I wanted seven. Yes, I knew that I wanted exactly seven. So I went up to the lady and put up fingers and she said something in Korean and I just nodded. I had no idea what she said. I wanted 7 and I had 7 fingers up....so can you mess that up? Yes, you can. In fact, apparently 7 fingers means, 'give me all the mandu that you have in that little basket there and then add like 5 more.' Yeah, 7 fingers says all that. I also had added stuff to the order and ended up with way more food than I could eat in one sitting. I Way more. And at the end when she was putting them in a bag I said, 'finished' after 7 and she said a lot of stuff in Korean, pretty much telling me I ordered way more. But...I don't know how it happened. Whatever. I have mandu for days now. I felt so bad though, I'm sure her and the other lady thought, 'this foreigner....why is she trying to order food when she doesn't know Korean?' The answer is, because I am hungry. That's why. When I was eating them I bit into this purpleish looking one and realized it was sundae. Sundae (or however you spell it) it pig intestines stuffed with noodles with sauce. It just grosses me out knowing it's pig intestines. I still ate almost the whole 4 inches of the deep fried poo pipe before I just couldn't anymore. And it was so salty I didn't really like the taste.
On the bright side, I just got done watching 'How I Met Your Mother' on Korean cable. It was a rerun, but it was great to watch American tv here.
My bad mandu experience has convinced me more than ever I need Korean lessons. I like experiencing the culture and the language is part of that. It really feels like it's hard to find lessons though, they are not just readily available everywhere which is really disappointing. I'm still not sure how I feel about Korea. I don't feel as if it is the most welcoming or open country but I also haven't gotten very much into learning more about Korea so far. So...we'll see what happens.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Dr. Fish
I had these cousins that my family and I would visit often when I was growing up. They had this pond sort of thing in their yard that they stocked with fish that they would also go swimming in. I remember really not liking this pond thing too much because there were huge fish all over the place and it kinda freaked me out that they could bite me. Even though I knew the fish bite wouldn’t hurt, just the idea of a fish biting me weirded me out. Yesterday I went downtown for the first time with two of my friends and right before coming back to our dong, we went to this coffee shop that they call Dr. Fish. You order coffee and for $2 more you can get your feet nibbled on by a tank of fish. I am not kidding you. They’re these tiny little fish, it looks like a tank of minnows, and they are supposed to eat all the dead skin off your feet. While I was kind of weirded out by it, I did it anyways. It was a seriously odd feeling and if you looked away it really did feel like tiny electrodes were going off on your feet. My feet felt smooth afterwards…but it was so odd getting chewed on by a fish for 15 minutes. I wonder what maggot therapy feels like.
I also cut my finger a bit on a toilet flusher chain last night. Yeah. Awesome me. You had to pull this chain super hard to get it to flush and my friend couldn’t get it so I pulled it and perhaps got a little too aggressive and there are two spots that drew a bit of blood…just like a drop, but who bleeds from flushing a toilet? It kind of grosses me out knowing how it happened. Actually, there are a few things about last night that make me shake my head and think, “Really?”
I miss people from home. And running in the suburbs.
I also cut my finger a bit on a toilet flusher chain last night. Yeah. Awesome me. You had to pull this chain super hard to get it to flush and my friend couldn’t get it so I pulled it and perhaps got a little too aggressive and there are two spots that drew a bit of blood…just like a drop, but who bleeds from flushing a toilet? It kind of grosses me out knowing how it happened. Actually, there are a few things about last night that make me shake my head and think, “Really?”
I miss people from home. And running in the suburbs.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Unisex bathrooms=awesome
I went to my first pool night last night! While I realize that sentence means little to most, I was excited because...I'm not really sure, but I was excited. I guess because you can meet so many foreigners in the area by going to pool night, why wouldn't I be excited to go? While I entirely enjoyed getting my ass kicked by some cruel Canadian (who felt it was his duty to remind me Brett was a Jet. You suck.), the best part of the night was when I had to pee. How awkward is that...the highlight of my night was peeing. But really, it gets better. The toilet was, first of all, a squatty. This means an awesome little white toilet contraption on the floor that you squat over and let loose. I remember when I studied in Russia there would be footprints on the toilet seat and I realized over time that they were from people squatting over the toilet to poo. I guess squatting helps...a Kenyan friend of mine told me the same thing. But I digress. So it's a squatty AND it's UNISEX! There are two stalls and also two urinals. I didn't really think to lock the main door, and just grabbed a stall and went for it. I must have had more to drink than I thought because I just wouldn't stop peeing. And you ALL need to know this. But it was like limbo central in that stall. I was trying to balance so I could keep my pants dry and still get everything in the squatty...is this too graphic? Whatever. It was an interesting experience and I kept laughing. By myself. In the squatty. Awesome. THEN I hear the door open and a guy stop, not go into a stall, but stop at a urinal. I was done and kind of tentatively opened my door and then said, "Um, I guess I'll just wait for you to be done" and his reply was, "Oh, ok, well there't not much to see anyways" And while this should have been awkward for me, I was thoroughly amused. Then I blew my nose and made the genius comment of, "Are you ever amazed at how much snot can fit in your nose?" Are you supposed to talk to people in the bathroom? I mean, are girls supposed to talk to guys? I don't know. He said he had never really thought about it. Yeah. It was a great experience. So my first encounter with this man was him peeing on the other side of my stall. Fantastical. Not too awkward, but I still thought it was kinda funny...but I guess everything makes me laugh.
I think I am starting to like it here. Mostly because I love the other foreigners here and because today when I was walking to work I had this thought, "I live in another country." And my heart soared, I was so happy. It's the obvious little things that usually get me, I am easy to please. Also, men on motorcycles sometimes make me swoon.
I think I will also soon be getting my life in order! I'm happy about this since that will mean I will find a church, start running, and organize my dump of an apartment (a dump because right now I have just dumped everything in it). I need to put up pictures round the ment as well. Can you shorten apartment to ment? I don't know, but I'm going to. I'm an english teacher, I can make up words if I want.
I think I am starting to like it here. Mostly because I love the other foreigners here and because today when I was walking to work I had this thought, "I live in another country." And my heart soared, I was so happy. It's the obvious little things that usually get me, I am easy to please. Also, men on motorcycles sometimes make me swoon.
I think I will also soon be getting my life in order! I'm happy about this since that will mean I will find a church, start running, and organize my dump of an apartment (a dump because right now I have just dumped everything in it). I need to put up pictures round the ment as well. Can you shorten apartment to ment? I don't know, but I'm going to. I'm an english teacher, I can make up words if I want.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Korea wants my boobs.
Sooooooo for awhile my sophomore year of college I went through a Taking Back Sunday phase...and since the lyrics are so catchy, I occasionally get back into it. Tonight when I got back to my apartment around 2 am all I could think of was, "this is me with the words on the tip of my tongue and my eye through the scope down the barrel of a gun..." Such fun to sing, those lyrics. But what I was thinking of was how fast everything changed in life. I guess things in life often change so fast, but this time I really noticed it. I feel as if I have already met some of the best people on this planet, truly. Knowing this, I definitely never want them out of my life but feel like the decisions I make push them away...or we just grow apart. I hate it, but I can't just settle yet. I know that I will still meet amazing people and life will be wonderful and magical, I just don't like feeling as if I'm letting go of things I already knew were great.
I just got back from watching Anchorman with two Brits, a canadian and my American co-worker. Yes, I am referring to them by nationality. Why? Because I am still thoroughly amused by the fact that there's such a mix. You would think ORU would make me immune to amusement through nationality, but no. I wish I could detail all the amazing conversation circling around gynecologists, gender, hot black men, and everything else...but that would take too long and would only make me giggle. The exciting bit of news is that there is a town that they often visit here that has an Army base. With good looking American military men. Oh my. I have quickly found the worst place for me to visit, and I am probably going within two weeks and then again for Halloween. And during Halloween I will be dressed up as Madonna. Yes....stories will follow.
ANOTHER equally exciting story...as I was walking the short distance back to my apartment from my friends (11 floors down and half a building across) I saw a man sprawled on the bench outside my building. I assumed he was asleep and while I wanted to smell him to check if he was homeless or drunk...I thought if he woke up I could definitely not be in the best situation ever. Then I had the pleasure of stumbling upon an awesome pee puddle at the bottom of the stairs in the hallway to the second floor. That was beauty. Mmmm if only I could convey how often I think, "wow, Korea...yeah!"
I also got my chest measured today. For my health check. Bust measurement is an important indicator of health. In Korea. Wow...yeah!
I just got back from watching Anchorman with two Brits, a canadian and my American co-worker. Yes, I am referring to them by nationality. Why? Because I am still thoroughly amused by the fact that there's such a mix. You would think ORU would make me immune to amusement through nationality, but no. I wish I could detail all the amazing conversation circling around gynecologists, gender, hot black men, and everything else...but that would take too long and would only make me giggle. The exciting bit of news is that there is a town that they often visit here that has an Army base. With good looking American military men. Oh my. I have quickly found the worst place for me to visit, and I am probably going within two weeks and then again for Halloween. And during Halloween I will be dressed up as Madonna. Yes....stories will follow.
ANOTHER equally exciting story...as I was walking the short distance back to my apartment from my friends (11 floors down and half a building across) I saw a man sprawled on the bench outside my building. I assumed he was asleep and while I wanted to smell him to check if he was homeless or drunk...I thought if he woke up I could definitely not be in the best situation ever. Then I had the pleasure of stumbling upon an awesome pee puddle at the bottom of the stairs in the hallway to the second floor. That was beauty. Mmmm if only I could convey how often I think, "wow, Korea...yeah!"
I also got my chest measured today. For my health check. Bust measurement is an important indicator of health. In Korea. Wow...yeah!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Russia?
I officially live in South Korea. The thing I hate the most about living in another country is when my body is adjusting, I get sick. Bleh. Someone here called it the newbie flu. It would be even worse if I didn’t have people here to help me—thank God I do!
I moved into my apartment Friday and got to go out that night to meet some other people who spoke English. There was only one other girl from America besides me and Abby that I can remember…everyone else is from the UK, Ireland, South Africa, Canada…places like that. It was so nice to be able to talk with people! Also, apparently bars here like to put on flare shows…which is just the Korean bar tenders twirling around liquor and setting the tops of it on fire and sometimes spitting fire. The spitting fire part is awesome. It was pretty cool but when the flare show is going on, they service no drinks. The irritating part about the bars here is they don’t really believe in good customer service. Sometimes you have to wait a long time to get your drink. Not okay. AND in the city I live in, Cheonan, I can’t go to clubs. Why? Well, because 20 or so years ago some GI shot a Korean outside of a club and now no foreigners can go to them without a Korean friend with them who will say they’re okay.
Speaking of GI’s…the best way to get American anything is to have military friends on bases in Korea…so anyone have any military friends they want me to be friends with? They have Taco Bell!!! Mexican food is in short supply here.
Also, I got asked if I was Russian for the first time since I've been here! While I usually would take that as a compliment, I had learned the previous night that if someone asks you if you're Russian, they are asking if you are a prostitute, so I wasn't so excited when I passed by a security guy here and he said, "Russia? Russia?" What a douche.
I moved into my apartment Friday and got to go out that night to meet some other people who spoke English. There was only one other girl from America besides me and Abby that I can remember…everyone else is from the UK, Ireland, South Africa, Canada…places like that. It was so nice to be able to talk with people! Also, apparently bars here like to put on flare shows…which is just the Korean bar tenders twirling around liquor and setting the tops of it on fire and sometimes spitting fire. The spitting fire part is awesome. It was pretty cool but when the flare show is going on, they service no drinks. The irritating part about the bars here is they don’t really believe in good customer service. Sometimes you have to wait a long time to get your drink. Not okay. AND in the city I live in, Cheonan, I can’t go to clubs. Why? Well, because 20 or so years ago some GI shot a Korean outside of a club and now no foreigners can go to them without a Korean friend with them who will say they’re okay.
Speaking of GI’s…the best way to get American anything is to have military friends on bases in Korea…so anyone have any military friends they want me to be friends with? They have Taco Bell!!! Mexican food is in short supply here.
Also, I got asked if I was Russian for the first time since I've been here! While I usually would take that as a compliment, I had learned the previous night that if someone asks you if you're Russian, they are asking if you are a prostitute, so I wasn't so excited when I passed by a security guy here and he said, "Russia? Russia?" What a douche.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Observations
I haven't been in Korea long enough to notice all the differences between Korea and America, but I have noticed some.
At gyms here, they provide the workout clothes. At the gym I'm going to join the girls get black with a red stripe down the sides and guys get black with a blue stripe down the side. I was a little weirded out by it at first, but I guess it's more convenient since all I have to bring is shoes and shower stuff...and I can even keep that in a locker. Nice.
When Koreans speak, it kind of sounds like they're whining. They end everything with "ehhhh" so even when they speak english, they turn it into konglish and words sound like: boxeh, exiteh, and so on. I kind of smirk everytime I hear it. Which may not be encouraging to my students....
Everyone here has the same color eyes (yes, I KNOW this is obvious, but I didn't really think about it until...) so when they saw my eyes were hazel, they were FASCINATED. In fact, some students looked at me and when they noticed my eyes, kind of jumped back with a shocked look on their face. Wow. Who knew I was so rare.
I never drink Nesquik in the states, but I kind of like it here.
I want to move into my own apartment.
Leave me some love.
At gyms here, they provide the workout clothes. At the gym I'm going to join the girls get black with a red stripe down the sides and guys get black with a blue stripe down the side. I was a little weirded out by it at first, but I guess it's more convenient since all I have to bring is shoes and shower stuff...and I can even keep that in a locker. Nice.
When Koreans speak, it kind of sounds like they're whining. They end everything with "ehhhh" so even when they speak english, they turn it into konglish and words sound like: boxeh, exiteh, and so on. I kind of smirk everytime I hear it. Which may not be encouraging to my students....
Everyone here has the same color eyes (yes, I KNOW this is obvious, but I didn't really think about it until...) so when they saw my eyes were hazel, they were FASCINATED. In fact, some students looked at me and when they noticed my eyes, kind of jumped back with a shocked look on their face. Wow. Who knew I was so rare.
I never drink Nesquik in the states, but I kind of like it here.
I want to move into my own apartment.
Leave me some love.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
First Day in Korea!
First full day in Korea!! Last night was a little sad because I don’t have internet where I’m staying and will not have internet until Friday or a little later. It was just very obvious I wasn’t at home and couldn’t communicate with anyone from home either.
The flight here was way too long and I watched at least 3 movies. Eventually, I got sick of movies because I don’t normally watch them and every movie had the same ending: the guy (no matter how much of an asshole) gets the perfect girl and they are in complete love and live happily ever after. My right butt cheek fell asleep and I had no idea how to wake it up without walking around. Unfortunately, it didn’t fall asleep and start cramping until descent so I was stuck wiggling around in my seat putting my legs in awkward positions up against the window to try and get it to feel better. Then, we drove 2 ½ hours to get to my city but I learned some interesting things. One of them being that if I do any illegal drugs in Korea I get deported but if I want, I can go to Thailand and it’s okay. Good to know.
So far, the only lonely part has been sleeping. Anyone that knows me well knows I like to talk before I fall asleep, but there’s definitely no one for that sort of thing here just yet. I don’t move into my apartment until Friday, so for now I’m staying with my boss. Falling asleep made me miss everyone back in the states and maybe one person especially much.
Time to observe class and see what I’ll be doing here for a year! I hope to talk to people back home VERY soon…if they would be online when I was!
Ashley
The flight here was way too long and I watched at least 3 movies. Eventually, I got sick of movies because I don’t normally watch them and every movie had the same ending: the guy (no matter how much of an asshole) gets the perfect girl and they are in complete love and live happily ever after. My right butt cheek fell asleep and I had no idea how to wake it up without walking around. Unfortunately, it didn’t fall asleep and start cramping until descent so I was stuck wiggling around in my seat putting my legs in awkward positions up against the window to try and get it to feel better. Then, we drove 2 ½ hours to get to my city but I learned some interesting things. One of them being that if I do any illegal drugs in Korea I get deported but if I want, I can go to Thailand and it’s okay. Good to know.
So far, the only lonely part has been sleeping. Anyone that knows me well knows I like to talk before I fall asleep, but there’s definitely no one for that sort of thing here just yet. I don’t move into my apartment until Friday, so for now I’m staying with my boss. Falling asleep made me miss everyone back in the states and maybe one person especially much.
Time to observe class and see what I’ll be doing here for a year! I hope to talk to people back home VERY soon…if they would be online when I was!
Ashley
Sunday, September 21, 2008
I live.
I honestly have no idea what to write. I started a blog because I thought it would be a great way to keep everyone I love up to date on my life as I replant myself in South Korea for a year. Just a year. I never thought a year sounded like very long, but it turns out saying goodbye to people you love--even if only for a year--can be really painful. I move on Saturday the 27, and am excited to get this adventure started as many other people are starting their post college adventures. Maybe when I get back I'll get into corporate America and rock it to its core, but for now I have to settle for learning how to live in Korea.
Going away and learning how to take care of myself in a country I've never been to will be an experience to remember. Even now I can't even begin to predict how anything will come about. Guess I'll just have to wait and see and take everything one day at a time.
Going away and learning how to take care of myself in a country I've never been to will be an experience to remember. Even now I can't even begin to predict how anything will come about. Guess I'll just have to wait and see and take everything one day at a time.
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