Desiring justification

Oh goodness, the journey continues. And so far, Japan wins for the CRAZIEST journey. I got fired. Yes, I know...shocking. I don't get fired, I don't even get verbal warnings. I do my job and for my whole life I have always done whatever job I had well. This time I made the mistake of trusting an absolutely crazy man with my job security. It obviously failed. I'm not going to go into detail about all that happened or try and explain it at all, really. I just want to say, I know that I did my best for that man and his family and have to accept that some people's poor management skill will lead to their own dissatisfaction. The only few good things that came out of it were meeting a new friend who also worked for him (and also got fired at the same time), once I stopped working for him I could have a life again, job hunt WAY more, see my friends more often, explore Tokyo, experience Japan in a real way and not just from his bitter, cynical viewpoint. The freedom was amazing.
I had been struggling with the decision to quit my nanny job for a couple weeks, (and yes, I only worked there 3 weeks), and felt huge relief when he asked me to leave. It was scary because I didn't know what I would do next, but I knew anything was better than staying in that house with him. I know for sure I never would have left that house unless I had found a full time teaching position. I would have stayed unhappy so it didn't look like I was quitting. Although, through it all I couldn't help but feel the universe had cheated me. It had tricked me into thinking I was getting a good transition job and it ended being a worse experience than my Korean boss. Even now I feel like my past two jobs deserve some sort of justification, something to make up for what I had to go through, (and yes I realize it could have been worse. But most things in life could be worse, that doesn't mean I have to be unhappy and just accept it).
NOW I live in Urawa at a hostel type place where I teach for housing. It's actually a convenient location, chill people, relaxed teaching, and overall, not a bad gig post crazy-man. Honestly, this whole experience up to now has taught me more about trusting God has me in His hands than anything else. I'm in the process of 4 interviews and a pre-screen for one school in the Tokyo area. I'm hoping at least one of these leads to an actual job and I am still applying for more jobs. And honestly, all of these things opened up AFTER I left his house. I really don't think I was supposed to be there to begin with and should have left when I had the feeling that was the wrong place for me. I'm extremely confident that something in or around Tokyo WILL work out, but as often happen with me, it will be last minute and slightly stressful.
I love being in Tokyo. Exploring, learning the language, meeting people, spending time with people I already know here; it all makes me feel SO HAPPY again. I climbed Mt. Takao the other day and met two Japanese guys. They climbed the mountain with me and my friend and then went out to eat/drink with us afterward. They were so much fun and taught us some Japanese while we taught them some English. Recently, me and my friend accidentally took the wrong train home and ended up at Tokyo station. Neither of us has any idea how it happened and it was too late to get another train back home. While stuck in Tokyo, we met a Brazilian guy and his Japanese girlfriend who could both speak fluent English. They helped us and seemed like super chill people to hang out with. It's encounters like those that make me want to stay here so bad. Just chance meetings with people that make the experience so much better.
So I am hoping and praying the hard work of applying, interviewing and networking all pays off and I can stay here. SO hoping and praying. Because for the first time in awhile, I am happy and feel joy on a daily basis.

atarashi

A new city, a new job, a new currency, a new language, new people, new relationships...a new life. I am starting over, yet again. In many ways it feels as if I am starting over for the first time but I know that I've done it before. Familiar feelings and reactions crop up and I am reminded this isn't a completely unknown experience.
Tokyo is a big city and one that I hope I have more time to explore. As of now, I am an au pair to a single father in his 50's. He has a live in Japanese girlfriend who helps him a lot, but since he does no housework and doesn't seem to possess the patience needed to raise 3 boys ages 5, 7, and 14, he needs more help than just her. He's extremely non-confrontational except for his underhanded "why aren't you reading my mind" sort of comments. For example, if he feels like the kids should be doing something that they are not doing, like eating dinner with him even though he never said he was going to eat and they ate earlier because they were hungry, he will continuously make comments like, "so I guess I'm eating alone. Well, this is lonely. I didn't know family dinners were so lonely." I personally wasn't aware that I was expected to wait until 8 pm for him to crawl out of his room so I could feed his 5 and 7 yr old sons dinner before their 8:30 bath. I have a lot of different thoughts about how children should be raised than him. It's an experience trying to navigate my way through his expectations and my reality. He is an exhausting man and I cannot wait to start teaching again. Silver lining: he has an oven and I have turned into a baking maniac. I can't stop. It's been too long since I've had an oven.
Even though my job is less than desirable at this point, it is only temporary and that was the understanding from the beginning. Everything else is wonderful. I love the people here, I am enjoying learning Japanese, the relationships I have here are fantastic, and exploring is FUN. Also, he hired a second au pair and she is from France. It is seriously so great having someone to work with that I can talk and relate to. We're learning Japanese together and in the process, I am also learning french. It's an interesting life!
I hope I find a teaching job in the next two months so I can stay here, otherwise my visa expires. :( I feel I have too many important things to figure out here before I go, two months isn't long enough. Even though lately I have been missing Korea, I know I am only missing familiarity and security. Soon, I will have that here, too.

Moray odeeyae?

I can't believe I haven't updated in two months...but time ran away from me. A lot has changed since then, so maybe a bullet point update would be best.

• I got a job au pairing in Tokyo. Sounds like a great deal and is definitely a perfect way for me to introduce myself to the city and figure out exactly what I want to do there and how I will do it. It's a single dad with 3 sons ages 6, 8, and 14. He has already been really awesome about talking to me about finding a teaching job and other options that I have there. He owns an art gallery and mainly needs help with organizing things.
• I have never had issues with leaving anywhere in my life and have never really cried because I was leaving a place, but I cannot stop crying when I think about leaving here. I feel like so much happened in one year and for me it was an intense experience. Honestly, the tears are a mixture of sadness, happiness, relief, and disbelief. It feels like a release of everything negative that I didn't let myself process just turning into liquid and coming out of my eyes.
• I got two new co workers that are great. I wish they would have come to Korea sooner so I could get to know them better.
• One of my students taught me a really cool new phrase. We were talking about nicknames and hers had something to do with food. She said that she had a beggar in her stomach meaning she ate a lot, like her stomach was always begging for food. I LOVED it and still do. So now when I'm hungry all day (which is often) I say my stomach is a beggar. For some reason, I am wildly amused by this.
• This is my LAST SUNDAY in Cheonan.
• I'm really thankful for the people that I had in my life this past year. While my boss made some things difficult, my friends made life fun. I learned so much, grew, and worked through a lot with them. More than I probably know.

My next entry will probably be from Tokyo. This life is crazy, it takes you places you would never predict. I love it.

Silver linings only exist because of the grossness they line

While walking home from my gym last night I got to thinking about differences. The differences between waiting and laziness, expecting and stupidity, faith and ignorance...so many thin lines that we are never really taught how to distinguish between. And really, you may have extremely strong faith that to many people LOOKS like ignorance but isn't. But how can you tell? How do you know when to keep pressing forward and when to find a different way? How do some people find these amazing opportunities and others flounder around for years? Who decides what people deserve and what they don't? I decided a long time ago that life is anything but fair. Opportunity doesn't seek out those most worthy, it seems like it just happens whenever it wants and whoever is around can take advantage. I am still trying so hard to be optimistic, I really am. I hate that the pessimism and negativity come out here, but that is what my life is right now. As always though, there IS a silver lining.
I was told a wonderful story about a bowl of jelly the other morning. Yeah, a bowl of jelly. Basically the story ended with: If God can provide them with a bowl of jelly, he can provide you with the perfect next step. I know that God is more than able, I believe my steps are ordered, I KNOW God can take care of me. I do wonder though if I am doing something to get in His way, I wonder if maybe I'm just not listening or not doing what I'm supposed to.
Another silver lining: this year I have learned more about the reality of people than I ever thought I would. True motivation, deception, culture, negotiation, blackmail, and consideration. One day I'll sort through it all, but it has definitely given me a fresh perspective that will help me the rest of my life for sure.

Sunday with Buddha

It's Sunday night and my apartment feels like an armpit. If you don't know what an armpit feels like, it's really humid and smells like clothes that won't dry. The smell is from my clothes that won't dry because it's humid, I don't have a dryer, and my laundry room is attached to my bedroom/living room/whatever room where I'm sitting now is supposed to be. That's my laundry room on the left with all the boxes on the floor that are now soaking wet due to sideways rain. I have also discovered that most mornings Korea smells like a wet dog. This is not the most attractive scent to associate with an entire country.

There's never that much to do on Sunday night but I always feel like the day is full. It didn't rain today and for Korea's three week rainy season, that is miraculous. Although, like I said before, all the rain makes Korea one giant armpit of nasty stickiness that refuses to leave your skin. SO I added to the grossness of it all by working up a sweat through climbing an obscene amount of stairs to see the largest sitting Buddha in Asia. In this picture you can't even see the end of the stairs...but it was a lot. To add to the experience, there were speakers in the woods next to the stairs that were playing Buddhist prayers. So I was climbing this massive amount of stairs, by myself, in sandals, in the sticky humidity listening to a creeper voice thanking Buddha for rain and love. It was an experience, to be sure.

I will say though, when I got to the top, it was pretty worth it.

The backdrop of the mountain against this huge Buddha and a temple just below was really pretty. It was also quiet and smelled clean, a rare thing in Korea. I think that's why I like temples here, they are generally away from the city so they are quiet and smell nice.
I found the nicest monk, too. I guess that all monks are probably really kind, but this one pointed out things he thought were pretty that I should take pictures of. I appreciated it, took the pictures and held back laughing in case he took it the wrong way. He even found a really nice bench for me to sit on.

This is a picture of the flower he wanted me to take a picture of. He beckoned me after he showed me where the water was (to be fair I was sweating and probably looked like I needed water, so I appreciated him pointing that out to me). Then, he pointed to this flower and said, "Ippoyo. Handpone" which means, "Beautiful. Cell phone." The cell phone part meaning he wanted me to take a picture of it. I thought it was a bit odd, bit was amused so I took a picture. I was about to walk away when he beckoned me again from inside what looked like a classroom. He wanted to show me this little balcony where you could see trees and a little waterfall and there was a bench to sit on. THEN he walked down to the end of the balcony and asked me to follow him and showed me where there was this tree growing peaches. He was super proud of them. Or maybe they were plums...either way, he was so glad to show me the pretty things he saw in nature and I really appreciated him doing that even though there was a language barrier.

Here we see my favorite monk taking a very important phone call in the classroom/learning center/church ish place. I honestly have no idea what it was, but it was right outside the Buddha. I was also very amused by him talking on a cell phone. I guess I still have the stereotype monk meditating day and night. I don't really think about monks on cell phones.

As you can tell, I have discovered adding pictures to my blog and thoroughly enjoyed intertwining the story of my temple adventure with the pics. I'm sure there will be more to come.

I've done it once and I can do it again

Every night I have this new routine: do something to get me closer to moving to Tokyo. Japan is a tough job market, even for teachers. Another thing that has been a part of this routine has been the inability to fall asleep. Yes, my friends, insomnia. I think there are a lot of reasons for it but I feel the biggest reason is stress. I’m not normally a stressed out person but I guess things are stacking up.
So here is a short story about faith, insomnia, and peace. How those go together I don’t really know but here’s the story anyways. The other night I was applying for jobs and was actually starting to feel sleepy. This is a first in a long time. I think it’s the first time I’ve felt sleepy and not just tired since I’ve been back (maybe 5 weeks, then?). I tried to go to sleep but it was just not working out which led me to start getting really frustrated. I just felt like everything was not working out. Keep in mind I haven’t been sleeping well for weeks and I’m unhappy with a few things right now so I guess I was kind of pouting. Then I remembered something, my steps are ordered. I remembered a time when I was co-leader for a trip to West Africa and my co-leader was praying for me. Afterwards, he reminded me that my steps were ordered and not to worry about the future like I do because it wasn’t something to worry about. After this memory, I felt peace. I know that I still have to work hard, explore every opportunity, apply for as many jobs as I can find; but it’s okay. My step was slightly springier the next day and I slept decent.
This is next part is only semi related to the above, but since this isn’t an essay or anything I don’t need to have nice transitions. I will say though that by not writing transitions, I feel like a really awful writer. I think of it this way though, if the blog’s purpose if for you to know what’s going on in my life, what better way to hear it than the way I think it? I know, good theory. Today I played the what-if game. I’m kind of obsessed with it and it helps me feel better about most decisions. The way to play is think of something you are about to do and then think of the craziest/worst thing that could happen as an outcome. Great game. Also a kinda scary game and the only time I wasn’t happy that I played was when I got my tattoo. Anyways, I played that game about Japan and realized even if it doesn’t work out, everything will still work out. I realize that is a really unclear statement, but I’m sure you can put it together.
I have to remind myself often that what I hate about my job isn’t my job, it’s my boss. It’s really awful, but I can’t even look at him. Literally. When he goes by, I look away. We do not speak at work, not at all. Today I realized that sometimes my stress and anger with my boss comes out with my students and it made me very unhappy for realize. I like teaching, I like playing with them, challenging them, showing them how to learn. I feel awful for getting impatient, frustrated, not allowing them to explore. Now I realize I have to make a conscious effort to show them love, kindness, and provide a creative atmosphere for them to learn. Yeah, I sound kinda like a hippy, but I really believe it’s good for them to have a creative atmosphere. And I’ll stop there and not go in depth with my teaching philosophies. I just want them to know they are not their grade, they can explore and be wrong and it’s okay. Sometimes learning is about mistakes.
Everyday I find myself trying really, really hard to see the good in everything. I know there’s good. The most difficult part about feeling sad or frustrated is I’m not really sure I know how to handle it for long periods of time. I want to change it, but I really don’t know how. I know my life is not a very difficult thing by any measure, but I am still glad to have my family and friends to support me when I feel knocked down by it all. And when I say glad I mean that I do really think that if I didn’t have them, I wouldn’t make it.

Life is not all joy

What we deserve and what we settle for. It seems like life really wants me to learn this lesson right now. The things I have in my life right now are the things I settled for but that doesn’t mean they are the things I deserve. I accept that and can admit that while some things are awful, other things are great. I’m hoping to soon make the awful things ALSO great things and keep the great, then I really can’t imagine what life will feel like. All that aside, I saw something today that absolutely disgusted me and also made me remember the saying, “we get what we settle for.” I was teaching my last class of the day and we finished early. They had actually been really good (sometimes they’re little shits) and so instead of reviewing we free talked. They still had to speak English, but we weren’t really talking about anything in particular and there were only 15 minutes of class left anyways. My boss comes in and gives them some fried squid left over from that morning and leaves. Five minutes later I hear YELLING. This isn’t uncommon, my boss has a really intense temper but usually he can scream it out in 10 minutes or so. Also, there were three classes going on at the time so I figured this was just another passing tantrum. It lasted awhile, then I heard his wife speaking Korean, then I heard him yell some more, then he threw some stuff, then he threw large things up against the wall of my classroom (I actually think he threw HER up against the wall of my classroom since the whole thing shook), then he yelled more, then he threw more stuff, then she talked, then he slapped her, and I think it stopped then. If I remember correctly, he went into his office and slammed the door. Obviously, at this point my students aren’t studying. They can’t even hear me because of all the yelling and it’s very distracting since my boss and his wife were fighting like this right outside my door. But once his office door slammed I figured that was it. One of my students, a girl, told me she was scared. I told her she shouldn’t be scared, she should be angry. I asked her if she thought it was okay that he did that and she said no. I told her she was right and that she should NEVER let a man treat her that way. She just nodded. There was thankfully only five minutes left of class so I didn’t have to fill too much awkward time. I was so angry that my boss thought doing something like that was okay, especially with children around and in a workplace. Ridiculous. Class lets out and I punch out. As I’m punching out he starts in on his wife again except this time he is yelling and throwing things simultaneously and with me 2 feet away. There was also 2 other teachers very nearby and one teacher had to kind of skip out of the way. I pressed the button for the elevator and it was then that he got SO angry that he started throwing glass at her. Coffee cups to be specific…not sure if it was the coffeepot too since I wasn’t at the right angle to observe. A Korean teacher then told us we really had to leave, even though we WERE leaving and just waiting for the elevator. I was really upset by this for obvious reasons. Besides the fact that he is abusive to his wife, I LEFT without doing anything. I had no idea what to do. The Korean teacher than left with us said that the police wouldn’t have done anything and if I would have stayed he probably would have hurt me too, but I still felt guilty for just walking away. I was disgusted that my boss felt he was within his rights to treat her that way. That is how you treat a dog. And in America, you can’t even treat a dog that way. Here is where the story gets even worse.I walked most of the way home with two other teachers and we talked about what we just saw. Our conversation wandered to some other shady business going on such as my co worker not having health insurance but has already been employed 4 months. She’s really angry about this and my boss’s wife was supposed to take care of it yesterday but didn’t. Once she found this out and a few other things she said something to the effect that my boss’s wife deserved what she got today. I nearly snapped. No woman deserves abuse from her husband, no matter how forgetful or bitchy that woman happens to be. She kinda took it back when she realized I did not agree even a little bit with her comment, and I know she said it out of anger about how she is being treated but not having health insurance does not justify domestic violence. That’s on par with saying rape is justified by the victim’s clothing. There you go. I don’t really think my boss’s wife deserves to be treated as she is. I think she needs to leave my boss or get the police involved or something. But…she is accepting it. I deserve a better job than what I have now, but I accept what I have now. The difference there is I am accepting it until I find that better job. It seems we can always accept the present if we know there is some sort of brighter future.

downgrading and game playing

Success. It’s something people can try their whole lives to find, something people will never find, something people give up trying to find, a thing that some never bother to define. I think the last one is the reason some people never find it: they never bothered to define it. So what is it? What is success? I guess it depends who you’re asking. I have a friend who told me success to him was raising a happy, healthy family. This included a good job with a happy marriage, of course. That was success to him and I hope he gets there. Success to others is lots and lots of money, stuff, a great job with tons of vacation, retiring early…it could be a lot of things. Sometimes I think about where I am now and compare it to where I thought I’d be. I now wonder why I thought I’d be a part of corporate America at 23; jonesing for a new car, a bigger house, a bigger salary, a resort infused vacation. The last few weeks have been rocky, really rocky. I’ve been really angry. The anger comes from frustration and the frustration comes from not being able to control certain things. You never realize how tight a grip you need in order to feel comfortable until you have nothing to grip. Despite this, I’m glad I’m here. I can learn to let go of the anger, work through the frustration and still see how beautiful life is. Still realize that while my road does not look like what I thought it would, it will still lead me to my definition of success. My road always was a little off with weird obstacles, I’m not sure why I thought it would ever change. In other non emotional news, it seems North Korea doesn’t want to bomb South Korea, they want to bomb Hawaii! I feel this is going a little too far for some food and aid, but I guess you do what you feel you need to. Who knows what’s going to happen with the North, but I really hope they change their foreign policy before the entire country starves. I am also noticing that people in America care much more about the aggressive North than South Korea does. No one here is taking a second look, this is pretty normal. Yeah, they think it’s scary that there’s so many threats going on, but it seems strange to be so scared of a country that has been relying on you for so long. I think it seems strange anyways. I’m just not seeing what the North has to bargain with.I moved again. This time I refused to do it so my boss came over with our bus driver and packed and moved everything in my apartment. I made a sandwich and watched them. I was really angry after it all though because my new apartment was DIRTY, missing light bulbs, without a stove, no air conditioner (I only point this out because my last apartment DID have one) and the gas wasn’t hooked up (no hot water). I didn’t realize the gas wasn’t hooked up until I had to take a shower. Good thing no one was living in my old apartment yet since I went there to take the shower instead. My boss has no concern for anyone but himself. Another instance is the air conditioner in my classroom. My classroom has no windows and it’s getting hot and humid in Korea. With 10 kids in a small space it gets really hot and humid. About a week ago, I notice my air conditioner isn’t making my room cold so I tell my boss. Of course he does nothing about it. Today I got frustrated with the lack of action and took all my students in the hallway because I was too hot and it was colder in the hallway. Of course this makes my boss mad and he wants an explanation so I tell him that the air conditioner is broke and I told him about it a week ago and he never fixed it. I made him feel stupid and he doesn’t like kids in the hallway, so he fixed it. Everything has to be his problem for him to do anything, absolutely ridiculous. These games are getting old.

Strawberry Swing

It’s Friday and I’m quarantined. It gives me too much time to think in a small space and makes me feel for those two journalists detained in North Korea. I’m quarantined because within 3 or 4 days of being back I started up flu like symptoms. Honestly, I feel sick. Not sure it’s swine flu…but we’ll see when those test results come back. They were supposed to be back tonight but they are NOT, so I guess it’s tomorrow.I just got back from America. My best friend is married…it’s crazy. My best friend is married, one of my other best friend’s is engaged and pregnant with her second child, and my other very close friend (who is basically me) lives in Russia. I will never tire of saying, ‘life is weird.’ I feel like in this blog I tend to stay away from how I feel about everything unless I’m angry. Also, I’ve gotten really behind. If anyone still reads this…sorry about that. I know that by deciding to live overseas I made a choice, a choice that is accompanied by some fallout. What I mean by that is when you go to live overseas you naturally lose touch with some people, naturally grow apart from others, and grow in a different direction than you would have back home. I knew this when I decided to leave but I had no idea what it would feel like. You don’t even realize it’s happened though, and there’s the rub. It’s like not realizing you lost your wallet until you reach for it and it’s not there. At first, you feel emotional and panicked, but after a few minutes you realize there’s not much to do anyways so you may as well chill out. I have never felt lonely in Korea until today. I realize that this is probably due in large part to the fact that I’m quarantined, but the feeling is still there. I was thinking about the life I chose and talking to a close friend of mine who lives in Russia. I told her that when you choose a life like this, you just have to accept this strange loneliness. You know there are people that love you very much, but you chose to live very far away from them so you have to deal with whatever you find where you end up. I’m not complaining, I know what I chose. Most of the time, I love it and would never choose a different life. But there are definitely times when I realize that the things I care about more than myself are very far away. In unrelated news, my co worker did a midnight run. If you don’t know what that is, it’s when an employee leaves the country they’re working in without any prior notification to their employer. My boss didn’t find out until 5 minutes after the first lesson started (there’s some good management for you). He called me pretty panicked. We had just been to the public health office on orders from a doctor to get me tested for swine flu. The office put me on quarantine and said I couldn’t go anywhere and my bosses last sentence to me when he called was, “You’re quarantined, right?” I’m not sure if he was asking if I was still around and not leaving without notice, or if he was trying to get me to work today. Either way, he was freaking out. I guess with all this free time I could figure out my life. Then again, what’s the rush? I’ve been saying I need to figure out my life for at LEAST a year now, what’s another day?

Never thought I'd write that as an objective

JUST finished a brand new version of my cover letter (specifically designed for education jobs overseas) and updated my resume. Whenever I finish something like that, I always feel especially cocky. I had to puff myself up considerably to write all those amazing things about myself but think it's a good sign that I feel so great about if afterwards. We'll see what sort of job I can get with what I've just written...I'm praying for the best.
I go to California in less than 3 weeks which is distracting. I know distracting is not the adjective anyone would expect, but it is just that. I love being overseas, it suits me. I think it's crazy exciting and even on"boring" days, I am still figuring out life overseas and that fact alone perks it up. Going back to a country I was born and raised in, understanding all the conversations around me, eating food I know the ingridients to...it's gonna be different. I am excited, though. No worries about that. It'll just be an old experience masquerading as a new one.
I can say "where is my head?" in Korean. For some reason, I thought this particular sentence was hilarious this morning. I got a mosquito bite in the palm of my right hand. No part of me thought that was hilarious. Currently on the phone with a loan payment company. Also not funny. Apparently, it's insulting to say to someone younger "how old are you?!" when you're angry. Gotta love Korean culture and the emphasis on age.

Sherbert fingers and happiness

Last weekend was absolutely beautiful weather. Because of this, I decided to go to one of the few attractions my city has called Independence Hall. It's this really awesome museum about Korean independence that is surrounded by a beautiful park area. While I was there, I stumbled upon this Korean group dressed in their traditional Korean clothes doing a drum/dance thing that was really cool to watch and reminded me of all the festivals at home with street performers. It made it feel like the beginning of summer :). I was the ONLY foreigner there though, so that got me a lot of stares. I usually don't notice the stares but I was by myself so it became really obvious. I feel like so far this entry is being written in really short choppy sentences, kind of like emo kids that write blogs like this:
"went the park.
you were there.
and I smiled."
Those sort of entries always irritated me just a little but since they're so vague and I'm not really sure what they're trying to say...anyways. ALSO while I was at Independence Hall, I got ice cream. Yes, I am still addicted to ice cream. AND they have this super cool ice cream here that has ice cream on the top and apple sherbert on the bottom! It's like two ice creams in one! Because of all the excitement over two ice creams I didn't think about a spoon. Also, the way the ice cream is, it looks like an ice cream cone in a plastic cup so you can lick it. So I'm wandering around this beautiful park, looking at the Mound of Reunification when I decide I want the sherbert and I'm sick of the ice cream...and realize I have no spoon. Me being the resourceful woman I am, I think, "I will use my fingers." So I scrape off the top part of ice cream onto the grass and start digging out the sherbert with my fingers. There was no one else around, so I didn't feel rude or weird, it was just me and the reunification mound. When I finished, I felt pretty satisfied with myself being able to eat the sherbert despite not having a spoon when I gave the cup a little shake. I heard a tapping coming from the bottom, noticed you could remove the bottom, and found a spoon. AWESOME. I hoped at that moment no Koreans had seen me using my fingers because they probably would have thought I was disgusting. And I felt like an idiot.
Just think, that is one story out of hundreds of situations that I regularly find myself in. Without sarcasm, I honestly and truly LOVE MY LIFE! I live a good one, no matter how many awkward times I tend to get into. :)
AND I can't forget to mention, my best friend is pregnant again! For some reason, knowing that she has the opportunity to raise another beautiful child fills my heart with happiness. I am truly happy for her and her family.

I got sick and suddenly enjoyed being a teacher

It has definitely been far too long since I updated this….two months! A lot has happened but it’s hard to say everything especially since I usually forget what I did most weekends by the time Monday comes around. I was recently very sick and that was a really horrible experience. Not necessarily because I was sick, but because of how my boss reacted to it. Here’s an email I wrote to a friend about it (because it seems wasteful to write it out again): I started getting sick on Friday but thought nothing of it because I was just suddenly EXHAUSTED and wasn't super sick, just very very tired and could feel it coming. Saturday and Sunday I basically slept...but still didn't think of it much because I could handle it (with over 12 hours of sleep/night). In Korea, they go to the doctor for EVERYTHING so every time it's suggested to me I kind of brush it off. I think in America we're pretty against the doctor because it often costs us a lot of money. Anyways, Monday was pretty bad and I was definitely sick at that point. Tuesday morning my boss had to take my co worker to the doctor because she had been puking for 4 days straight at that point (that day made 5) and his wife noticed I was still sick so suggested I also go to the doctor. At this point I was still convinced that it was a nothing cold so I said no. It progressed so rapidly throughout the day I was so convinced I would be dead by 9:05 (when I get off work). So, around 7 or 8 I begged my boss to take me to the doctor. He told me, "Okay, I'll take you tomorrow" And I was pissed so I said, ""Fine. I'll just go by myself then" I didn't, I ended up just going home. But this is how I went home: my last class is off studying for their school exams so I technically have no last class. BUT my boss and his wife don't like me having 50 minutes less of work a day, so they come up with stupid things for me to do that are not part of teaching. So I just started to leave without saying anything and my boss started to call me back when I gave him the glare of death and he let me go home...but I did have to kind of get it out of him. SO Wednesday (sorry, this is not the short version) I was really sick, like.....really. I get to work and ask him to take me to the doctor and he says, "Now? Ummmm.....pause.....all the doctors are on lunch break" He says this all without looking up from his computer (he has a habit of dirty chatting with women) and I stand there and say, "Um, seriously?" "Yeah, it's lunch time" So no doctor. He said he would take me the next day. My friend, I am not lying when I say to you that in no way should I have been working nonetheless working with CHILDREN. I was a mess. I couldn't focus, I was constantly blowing my nose, I looked as if I'd been crying all night and that day, it was really awful. I should have just taken a sick day....but we don't get sick days. Literally....as in we don't get them. I basically let most of my classes play games and then finally when i had one class left I stood in his office (my eyes barely open because they were swollen) and said, "Tobin, you have to do something, your medicine is doing nothing and I am really sick. Please." And he ignored me. Until he was ready to talk. He basically talked to all the students that came into his office after me and left the office. He came back to find me still there so he said, "Ok, so you're sick. Go to any hospital you want and I'll just pay you back tomorrow" He wanted me to go alone to a hospital that doesn't speak English. So...I tried to contact Korean friends but it was kinda late and he didn't tel me where any hospitals were. I look back and think I should have asked but I was so sick...I just left and fell asleep with my phone in my hand trying to find someone to go with me. He woke me up later and yelled at me for not going but I didn't really care I just went back to sleep. The next morning I made sure to ask him to take me to the hospital BEFORE the magical doctors only lunch hour. I called him at 11:45 am and he said he would come pick me up then called me 5 minutes later and told me to come to the office. So I got there and then he told me we couldn't leave until 12:30 and I was so angry so I responded a little in anger and said, 'Then WHY did you tell me to come now?" Him: "It slipped my mind" I just laid back and closed my eyes in frustration and he said, "Why are you so grouchy" I couldn't take it anymore Shannon, he had been putting off taking me to the doctor and was acting like an ass so I yelled, "I'm grouchy because I'm (held back fucking here) sick and you keep making me work when you can clearly SEE I am sick" He FLIPS OUT And screams"(something in Korean) I didn't give you that cold, you could have gone to the hospital days ago...blah (he yelled for a while)" "Well, I ASKED you again to take me to the doctor and you said they were all on lunch AT THE SAME TIME!" So he storms off to throw some things around before coming back and saying, 'Fine, we'll go NOW" and as we are walking out the elevator he feels the need to add, "Jesus Christ, you are fucking piss me off" That's the whole story. I could only add that the doctor is dumb and all he did was take my temp and ask how many days of do nothing pills I wanted. I'm sorry the story was so long...but I am so angry. It's not just my story, either. My co worker who has been puking for 5 days straight got barely any treatment at the doctor either and my boss is just worried she won't have enough energy to work (his words, not my assumption). He doesn't care that we're sick, he cares if we can work or not BUT we cannot take a sick day. Those are not allowed. It just really struck me how childish, selfish, and prideful my boss is. I knew he was before, but I must have forgotten...it was just really awful to have to deal with someone that honestly has no care for anyone else.That’s the long version of the story, but that’s the whole story. I was LIVID at him for days and still have very little respect for him based on how he treats his employees and own wife. My Korean is coming along nicely. I now have two tutors and they are wonderful! I have a crush on one of them because he’s so kind, gentle, patient, and just really cute. Apparently they say men that look like him have soft faces. He also looks like a guy from my favorite Korean drama so that helps. I go to California in 4 weeks and I am really excited! I get to be a maid of honor, see my best friend, and see OTHER friends I haven’t seen in 8 months!! I also get to experience America again, but I’m not sure I’m all that excited about that particular aspect. I am starting to look for jobs in Japan and getting excited about moving to Tokyo. It’s going to be a completely different experience and I’m hoping I can do language school while I’m there too. It would be perfect for me to learn Japanese in Japan and be able to use that while applying to grad school. I’ve been loving my classes for the past two months and have gotten to the point where I really enjoy teaching. I love where I’m at right now in life and hope that continues! I also hope the weather will make up it’s mind here, it’s been hot then cold, warm then cold, and so on for few weeks now. I just want summer, please.

This weekend had to be punishment for something I did

A new month. I always love new beginnings because I feel like they give us a fresh start. Who doesn’t love a fresh start? February turned to March for me while I was in Seoul…and it was an interesting turn.
I managed to accomplish the following things over the weekend: leave my wallet in a cab, see two prostitutes, see a SHOP of prostitutes, break my food processor, not talk to the one person I really wanted to, realize my speakers were broken, deal with some high maintenance issues, have broken conversations with cab drivers, take a nap at a spa, buy my first pair of pants in Korea, and have a Korean lesson. I’m sure there was more, but those are the things I remember.
First of all, I LEFT MY WALLET IN A CAB. I put that in caps because once it happened, it kind of took over my weekend. Good thing it happened on a Saturday night and not Friday though, because then it could have ruined the weekend. I’m happy it didn’t ruin my weekend. Once I realized it had happened (due to absent mindedness caused by irritation) I freaked out for 10 seconds before I thought that freaking out would get me nowhere. So I just kinda dealt with it, asked my dad to do me a huge favor by canceling my credit cards, reported the wallet in case it was turned in, did what I could, and forgot about it. I won’t lie and say I wasn’t bothered or it didn’t suck…but I didn’t really see what else I could do besides what was in my control. There were more details involved, but all in all it wasn’t that interesting of an experience, just irritating and not something I really ever wanted to experience.
A more interesting thing that happened is I saw my first prostitutes and then a ton more. I was walking around Itaewon in an area I knew was known for prostitutes, but I had never seen any there to my knowledge. Then, outside a club I see two women trying to pick a dude and they were very obviously Korean prostitutes. They were also outside a transgender club so I feel like this place kinda attracted some shady sexual practices. For some reason, I was really delighted that I finally saw my first two prostitutes. The next morning out cab driver was taking us to the train station when he pointed down the road to a building all lit up in pink with what I thought were manikins in the window. He made a drinking motion with his hand and pointed again, driving slower, and as I looked closer I saw that they were real women just sitting in the pink windows…it was basically a prostitute shop. I was disgusted.
My food processor broke, I think. That means no more homemade peanut butter. I don’t really know what happened, but it started smoking and smelled really bad. I wasn’t happy.
Only one of my speakers has sound coming out of it unless I play a Korean song that translates into “Gone Crazy”. No idea why.
Jjimjilbang’s are Korean bath houses or spas. They are awesome and I love them. One redeeming feature of a part of Seoul called Itaewon is that it has a 24 hour Jjimjilbang. It redeemed my weekend.
The pants I got in Korea are black, sparkly on the butt, and SUPER tight. I love them and was lunging all night Saturday to stretch them out. I also had a guy yell, “ey baby!” at me. I blame the pants and also wonder if “ey baby” is how they get women’s attention now. It’s not very effective. Another ineffective pick up tool is any line beginning with, “Do you think it’s weird that I…” If you have to ask, it probably IS weird and I will tell you.
Happy March. I’m very much hoping March turns out to be amazing and full of beautiful, wonderful events as opposed to frustrating, long evenings. I’ll be sure to do my best to make it good.

Pegoopah and other Korean lessons

I kind of forgot Valentine’s Day this year. I didn’t forget it was happening, but I pretty much neglected it and learned to ski instead. Best Valentine’s Day ever!
My boss planned a ski trip for our Hagwon and the best part was teachers got to go cost free! It kind of made up for all the times he’s been a little douchey towards us but does not give him a free pass to be douchey in the future. We stayed at the Phoenix resort and got ski lessons from the father of one of our students. He also happens to be the husband of our main secretary. Their children are beautiful (probably because their mother is gorgeous)! I really liked him but the issue came when he didn’t speak English but was teaching me to ski. Good thing I learn well by example. The language barrier wasn’t really a problem though because I picked up pretty quick on his Korean prompts and learned to ski with no injuries! He also threw in some key english words he learned through me repeating over and over what I THOUGHT he wanted to say. So you have me on a hill muttering, “Arapro, Arapro” and him saying, “Up, Down, Up, Down” The first being a reminder to pick my poles up and not scrunch my arms close to my body and the second being his reminder how to turn properly but raising my hips up then down. It was really cool when I made it down the hill twice on my own! Small victory but it definitely made me wanna go back! There was a tiny mishap though, as one would expect to hear of when someone like me goes skiing.
We got there on Saturday and three sessions to ski. The first session was an introductory lesson for the beginner skiiers. After that session, we had dinner and then were supposed to meet up to get another lesson except our instructor failed to inform us where we would be meeting. We waited about half an hour where we had our first lesson and didn’t see him. So we practiced a bit more before I started feeling super antsy about getting on a real hill. I should have been able to reason it out in my head and think “You’ve only been skiing for about 2 hours and have been going down a hill with almost no gradient whatsoever…maybe going down a real hill is a bad idea…” But instead my inner dialogue went something like this, “You only live once! You’re in effing KOREA! You should at least TRY a real hill! It can’t be that bad, Claire is LEARNING to snowboard on this hill. Just do it.” So I convince my co worker to come with (she even skiied worse than me) and we got on the lift to what we thought was the beginner hill. We get off the lift look down the hill and quickly realize in no reality is this the beginner hill. My co worker asks the lift operator where the beginner’s hill is and he says we are most definitely on the wrong hill. I try to convince her to go down anyways but she is very much against it since she cried on the lift from being so scared…my persuasion skills were misused in the case of convincing her to get on the lift. I finally persuade her to try and get down the hill and I take off to go down myself. I couldn’t really control my speed too well since I had just learned and shouldn’t have been on an intermediate hill anyways, so after sliding somewhat uncontrollably down the hill, I accidentally run into a snowboarder as I’m trying to stop and he acts like it was HIS fault I ran into him. I realized then that I could definitely get hurt on this hill. I was about a 1/3 of the way down and was looking at the rest of the hill noticing how steep it seemed and realizing how unable I was of stopping. In short, I was freaking out. I don’t remember being that scared since the night before I moved to Korea. I honestly had no idea what to do and about 3 times almost had myself convinced I could handle the rest of the way down, but since I knew that I could barely handle the first 1/3 I couldn’t fool myself into the last part. It was awful. At that point, I hated skiing. As badly as I wanted to cry I knew that wouldn’t help my situation and finally figured out a way to get down the hill via a closed in lift (since at this point one of skis wouldn’t go back on my foot, no idea how that happened) through the help of a ski pro. I didn’t know how to say anything in Korean except “help” so they showed me where the lift was. I wanted to hug them. The next day I got a proper lesson from my instructor and really learned to ski. Thus, at the end of the day, skiing had redeemed itself and I did not hate it but LOVED it.
I also met two Russian dudes in the mart on the resort and they invited me to celebrate some victory with them. I couldn’t celebrate with them, but I DID practice my Russian with them. It was great. I forgot how much I enjoy Russian people and their wonderful accents and beautiful language. I realized my Russian has digressed considerably and my Korean has improved since I was answering in Korean without thinking. It was cool and disappointing at the same time.
Before the ski weekend, I got a new co worker! We’ll call her C. She is GREAT. We seem to have a lot in common and we both had tons of fun with our co teachers this weekend, so I’m very glad she is here! There are times like this weekend that I am reminded how much God is looking after me. I don’t need reminders to tell me how awesome God is, but this weekend was a reminder that He is all powerful and loving. I really, really appreciate reminders like that. I know the stories I told aren’t really proof of this reminder but nonetheless, the reminders were present. And…my body aches.

I love my mom and other things that comprise my life.

It is officially my mom’s birthday in Korea. Yay! Happy Birthday mom….there’s a letter on its way so be looking out! February is full of celebrating birthdays of those I love. There were four people born in February that I cannot imagine my life without, February is an important month it seems. Out of these four though, my mother is the most important. The woman that taught me I was the one who put the spice in life since she herself is a spicy woman, to not take the bullshit of life, what sacrifice for love is, and to stay kind. I am glad my mother was born. J
This past weekend was a good one: I moved into the apartment of my former co-worker which is 5 times better than my old apartment, I went to the same church for the second time and LOVED it, and I started the process of compiling a list of grad schools I am interested in, and I got my hair cut…among other things.
The haircut. A student went with me so I wouldn’t feel like they were on a mission to butcher my hair since I happen to know me sporting an Asian style would be a mess. I brought pictures and it was FANTASTIC. I got cake, juice, a shampoo/condition, shoulder/head massage, a paraffin dip/hand massage, blow dry, hair cut, and Korean lesson for 10,000 won!! Could not believe it. And the cut was a good one! I am a big fan of Korean salons. If I had a camera I would post pictures of my cut, but no camera so no pics.
Grad schools. I am definitely intimidated and have realized for now I need to study my ASS off for this GRE and pray my ASS off for wisdom on what to do next. Perhaps it’s not even the right time for me to be pursuing grad school but if that is the case I need to get an inclination of it soon. Timing is important.
Church. It’s a small church comprised of Koreans and native English speakers. Turns out to be a great mix for me to practice my Korean and still have people to form bonds with that speak English. I really love their service format because it’s so small, this enables it to be closer to a Bible study rather than a large service/lecture. I. Love. It.
Moving. It was a bit irritating moving since I JUST got the feeling of settled not one week before I was informed I would be moving. Thankfully, I upgraded so my irritation quickly turned to glee when I saw/felt my better floors, HOT WATER STREAMING FROM MY SHOWER HEAD, a shower head with purifying charcoal beads (Dear God, YES!), better kitchen table, microwave, way better stovetop, large refrigerator, more cupboards, a wine glass my co-worker left, better desk, great view since I’m 12 floors up, and better lighting (except for my burnt out kitchen light). I am happy. EXCEPT for the fact that my boss told me I was moving again in 3 or 4 months. I’m hoping time will be on my side when I try to convince him it would be easier to let me stay put until my contract is up. Moving is just irritating.
ANNNND I just found out a new American co worker will be here….TOMORROW. I love the advance notice of these things. I did know someone was coming but I didn’t know when. I’m excited, though! Now I can be a semi-veteran and show her things. It should be a good time, I haven’t really met anyone here yet that I don’t get along with, so let’s hope she’s not the first.

My heart is still wrapped around this?

Reading about the crisis in Zimbabwe makes me realize how complicated Africa’s problems are. Although one may look at it from far away and think the issues can be easily resolved, there is too many ingrained thought patterns to give a simple solution and walk away. While the solution may be simple, implementation will most likely not be. To me it seems there is a prideful man set in his ways who refuses to give up his power when doing so would only improve his country rather than deprive it of his years of experience. I think those years of experience have only hardened him to what being in public service is really about…serving the public. Then again, maybe a power change wouldn’t do much either. It seems whenever someone new comes into power in Africa they start off with the best intentions and end up corrupt and power hungry. I do realize I am severely lacking when it comes to knowledge of Africa and I am trying to fix that, but I guess the little knowledge I do have makes me think that’s what the leaders are like. I would love to think there is something I can be a part of that is helping to resolve this, but I know the only thing I can do is pray. What really gets me is that because of leaders being unable to negotiate and solve their disputes, people are dying form starvation and cholera, the economy is collapsing, people live in fear since certain freedoms are not present, CHILDREN AREN’T BEING EDUCATED because it’s too expensive or teachers don’t teach because they aren’t being paid. What a way to ensure your country will become worse, cease to educate your children. This is why leaders are so important, they shape the way for people to go and when they deviate to focus on their own selfish, prideful, destructive ways they leave no path for anyone to follow and whatever they had built previously, collapses. Issues like this really anger me.
Happy New Year! Yes, it is Lunar New Year’s day. This year is the year of the bull…also MY YEAR. 1985 was also the year of the bull, so it’s my year and I’m excited for it. 2009 will be an interesting ride, that much I can guarantee. I’m looking into jobs in Dubai but feel that if I did go, it would have to be for less than a year. At some point I realize I need to start taking jobs that develop my career rather than my passport. At some point. J I’m beginning to see that I have a passion for making sure the interaction between business, politics and people is a healthy one. Hoping to start a career somewhere in that arena, I know there’s a need!
I have been re-reading ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ and stumbled upon a passage where she explains happiness through a yogic mindset. She says (loosely) that happiness is something that must be achieved and once it is, something that must be maintained. You cannot just expect happiness to come to you, you have to keep it as a part of your life. I think I understand what she means. I woke up 3 days ago very, very, very happy; realizing I had friends and family that loved me, was healthy, hardworking, intelligent, and had at least enough potential to ensure I could succeed somewhere…life is good. Even when people disappoint me, circumstances make life difficult, or decisions come back to haunt me, life is GOOD and there is a reason to smile. When I feel happiness slipping away I need to remind myself how much love surround my life, how much difference kind words to someone else can make, and how much more of this beautiful life I potentially have left. I have also been watching lifechurch.tv sermons online and am so thankful that they put them online. The series on prayer reminds me how important it is not only because Jesus says how powerful it is over and over again but because it provides balance to life. Absolutely key.

Indian food in Korea is not recommended

On Sunday morning I had an experience in South Korea that I did not anticipate nor enjoy in the slightest. This experience was that of food poisoning. Oh, the joy! I haven’t been as sick as I was since I was in Africa, and even in Africa I was sick for less time. I won’t go into detail, but the sickness started around 6:30 am on Sunday and I couldn’t put anything in my mouth without puke until noon. Then, I was sore and all out of sorts the rest of the day. Monday was okay, but I should have had NO FOOD instead of pasta late at night. Today, Tuesday, I am trying to not ingest anything except liquid and I’m pretty sure this is the best idea. I blame the whole thing on an Indian buffet I had in Songtan. Their chicken curry was cold and it should have been hot…which means it was probably sitting there for awhile. I guess I shouldn’t have eaten it, but I have this crazy belief that nothing bad will EVER happen to me. Sometimes I should rely more on logic than crazy beliefs. Sometimes.
I finally feel like an okay teacher and it is with this thought that I know I cannot be a teacher next year. I say that knowing full well I could change my mind. Although, today I was looking at what sort of jobs were open in the US. Yes, my friends, I am actually considering moving back to America. We’ll see what happens, but I am pretty sure I want one year of professional experience before I get my masters. If I don’t get professional experience, I’m still pretty confident I’ll be going to graduate school in 2010.
I’ve been slacking hardcore on learning Korean. The holidays and Taiwan messed me up.
I am jonesing to see Slumdog Millionaire. It sucks because it’s not in theaters in Korea and since it’s such a popular movie, it’s really hard to find a decent stream of it. Not okay.
I am writing this in my classroom and my students are currently quizzing each other on the names of all the members of Big Bang…wow. I used to be just like these girls! And if you’ve never heard of Big Bang, you should look that up. They’re a big deal over here. And they all look like women. Which I just told them and they just said, "No..." and then listed off all their names, as if this would convince me they were in fact men.

I know the heart of life is good.

It’s the New Year, how weird. I can honestly say as I was watching the fireworks in Taiwan taking gulps from the champagne being passed around that I did not have any particular feeling about 2009. Usually, I have some sort of feeling…the year will be exciting, different, a transitioning year, sad, good, bad, whatever. This year, nothing. I just felt…hm…slightly nauseous from drinking champagne too fast? Yeah, that’s really the only emotion I had going on and that’s more a physical reaction than an emotion, really. Maybe that means I get to make this year whatever I want and I until I decide it’s just a blank slate. Maybe I need to make some decisions. I’ve been feeling that for awhile.
I got back from Taiwan Sunday night and it was quite the adventure. I’m really bad at retelling detailed stories of events that impacted me, but let me try a little bit. First, let me say that I planned little to none of this trip. I bought plane tickets (for me and my friend), know what cities we were going to, and looked up some things to do in said cities, but I didn’t book hotels or even look to see where hotels were, did not download maps, didn’t check any sort of transportation provided within cities….nothing like that. I went in pretty blind, just to see what would happen. And events happened. The first full day in Taipei was rainy, but we had managed to get a sweet tourist map from the airport (should have thought to ask for one of those for every city since it was in ENGLISH) so we easily found our way around a city full of food stands, motorbikes, and shrines/temples. It was a good time, a bit wet, but great. Then, we ventured onto Tainan. We were in the MRT station looking a bit confused for no longer than 20 seconds when we hear , “I can help, how can I help?” coming from behind us. What do we find but the friendliest 5-language speaking Indonesian University student ever. He was beyond wonderful leading us to the train station and teaching us how to ask for tickets in Chinese all but 2 minutes before HIS train pulled away. It made my heart swell. I did actually forget how to say that Chinese sentence but realized that if you say “two (insert city name here)” the ticket person knows what you mean. One thing I overlooked when thinking about this trip…it was the New Years holiday. The high speed rail tickets were sold out and we had to get standby slow bus tickets. We couldn’t get on the first bus, so we had to wait about an hour or a bit more to get on a bus for the 4-4 ½ hour ride to Tainan. Awesome anyways because we basically bused all the way down Taiwan (that’s what she said?). Tainan provided entertainment in the form of seeing a college acquaintance, watching a worship dvd in a christian café and feeling the longing for a great church, trying bubble tea for the first time, New Year‘s fireworks, a ride on a motorbike, and the kindness of a man at a 7 eleven who knew me and Lauren were cold so he gave us weird meat broth. The broth was actually tasty and more importantly, hot. It was warmer in Taiwan than Korea, but that night was chilled. After Tainan we went to Taichung. LAME. It’s an up and coming city in Taiwan and it has….things it could offer a traveler who plans ahead. I am not that traveler. Taichung woulda been a bust had I not gotten the best phone call ever. It went something like this: *ring* (Lauren: should we answer that? Who would call us here? No one knows we’re here…) Me: Hello? Then I hang up because person couldn’t hear me. 30 secnds later *ring* Me: “Yobosayo? (Korean hello) Oh, oh! HI! Yeah, okay, definitely, sounds great…..okay, yeah, we’ll be down in just a minute! Okay! Bye!” And who was on the other end but a friend of the hotel owner who had heard we wanted to go to the night market, so he wanted to take us. Turned out to be a great guy named Wesley. Great English speaker, made Taichung much better than it would have been. Lauren was a bit freaked that a random man had called our room to take us somewhere in a country where we didn’t speak the language and had never been before…but I figured it was harmless. I could have been wrong, but I wasn’t so it’s fine. The major snag that made me want to set things on fire happened on our last day in Taipei. I needed to change money into NTD that I didn’t change in the airport when I got in (HUGE mistake) and found that I could not. I was a very unhappy girl when I realized through the tireless labor of a random network marketing journalism University student that they changed Yen, USD, Canadian, HK, and Euro….but not Won. Kinda doesn’t make sense since Korea is so close, but they were not fans of the Won in Taiwan. Sucked for me…but my Visa card found a way around that. And that student? Yeah, he went around with us for probably an hour trying to find a place to change our money before we FORCED him to stop after he tried a chain of jewelry stores in a desperate attempt to get my money changed. The Taiwanese are probably the most helpful and kindest people I have ever encountered overseas.
Longest. Blog. Ever. Sorry about that, I just know that I had mentioned to some people that I was going to Taiwan and I didn’t want to leave everyone hanging with no stories since we all know when I travel weird things happen. I do feel as if I went through an amazing process in Taiwan that I really didn’t expect. I feel more motivated, grounded, sure of who I am…it’s hard to describe. It’s as if before I was just going through the motions of life, unsure of everything around me, unsure of what would happen next. In Taiwan I got a sense of security, a sense that who I was before was still there, I could and should accomplish things just as I would was I back in the states. It’s so hard to describe in words and the words I just used are not doing what happened justice in any way, but just know that I feel more confident that my future is not dark in any way but bright because I can accomplish things I had forgotten I was capable of just a couple of months ago.
Today I joined a gym, learned how to ask for a discount in Korea, and had my students yell at me for going off on a tangent about math (since numbers are universal, they’d rather read English than long division as it turns out….over achievers). I also had my boss tell me the most awesome thing ever. My hot water has been funky for around a month not. I told him before I left for Taiwan that my shower was not getting hot, just lukewarm and he even came over to make sure I wasn’t lying before leaving and saying, “Well, I am not a handyman I cannot fix that.” Duh, that’s why I told you to call someone…. Anyways, he said he would fix it while I was gone but he didn’t. I had one lukewarm shower before I made the decision to join a gym and take advantage of their reliable steamy showers. He asked me today if it was any better (even though no one had done anything to fix it) to which I said, “I don’t know, I’ve been going to the gym.” His reply? “Oh, you should just go to the gym everyday and wash up.” Yah. Seriously?! Really? That’s how you’re fixing this problem? When he came by to check it the first time he tried to tell me it wasn’t worth fixing because I would only be there another month or so. I informed him very quickly that I would be wanting a hot shower within that month. No worries though, someone is coming by tomorrow to fix it. Thank God he knew I would not actually settle for the solution of making the gym my pseudo home.
And that is my novel.